Shades of Steele
by JessesGirlFinally
Summary: My take on what happens after Ana sends that email telling Christian that it was nice knowing him, IF Ana were to have more steel. Mature sexual content. I also write as Autumn Brown on Siren and Amazon if you're interested in my published books.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, I've seen enough.

Nice knowing you.

Ana

I press the send button, and laugh out loud. I'm feeling giddy after my day of sex with the awesome, beautiful Christian Grey. My inner goddess pokes her head out from behind her book. She rolls her eyes at me. _Are you sure he's going to think that's funny? _She asks me with a smug look on her face. I reread my email. Maybe not, but I'll explain if necessary when he replies.

I continue my workout in my bedroom, with my ear buds embedded deep in my ears. Moving my body was helping the soreness a little. I'm sure it will take days to get over this aching. I've heard horror stories in high school about the loss of virginity and the pain that punishes you for days afterwards. The high I'm on is far outweighing the pain at the moment though. I listen to my iPod and do some toe touches. I'm sure flexibility will come in handy, whether I sign the contract or not.

I glance at my laptop to check my email a few times while exercising. Nothing yet. I wonder what is taking him so long to reply. He is usually more responsive. Maybe he's thinking of some clever comeback. I begin to panic thinking maybe he's moving onto his next potential sub already. I hope I didn't just screw up. Maybe I should call him.

I somehow feel him before I see him. I look over at my door. Holy shit! Christian Grey is standing in the doorway, wearing a white linen shirt and a pair of jeans. He's glaring at me.

I remove my ear buds, surprised to see him. Actually I'm shocked to see him. I never expected him to come over. Had he read my email? _Of course he has_, my inner goddess sneered at me, chastising me for being totally stupid.

"Christian." I manage to mutter out a greeting.

"Ana." He says tersely to me.

"I didn't expect you to come. I thought you'd just reply to my email."

"I felt your email warranted a reply in person."

Oh crap! He obviously didn't think it was funny. How am I going to dig myself out of this? If I tell him that it was a joke, he'll think I'm stupid, and he might possibly get really angry. "Yes?" I urge him on, holding my ground. I feel my knees go weak beneath me. I sit on the bed and look up at him waiting on a response of any kind. This could go either way.

"So it was nice knowing me?" he asks. He closes the door and sits next to me on the bed.

His proximity is almost too much to bear. He smells so good, and I smell…well like I've been running for the last thirty minutes. "Very nice." I finally spit out. I adjust my position to put some distance between us.

"So you're declining my offer?" he asks me, his eyes piercing my soul.

"No, I'm still considering your contract. Researching the terms."

He nods slowly. I can see the anger growing inside him and it scares me. I can see the darker side of Christian Grey at the moment. "Oh Ana!" he says. It's a warning.

I know something is coming. All my instincts tell me to tear out of this bedroom and run, but I'm sure he's in better shape than I am. He'd catch me before I reach the front door. I look up at him, hoping he will change his mind. "Don't be mad at me." I beg. Where is this coming from? I'm not the type of girl to beg. What's happening to me? Am I losing my self respect?

He leans over toward me, and kisses me on the lips gently. I kiss him back, gently testing the waters. Then he snakes his arms around my waist and pulls me close to his chest. His kiss grows needier. I respond, and wrap my hands around his neck.

"Is this _nice_, Ana?" he asks me. I can hear the emphasis on the word nice. Note to self: don't use the word nice when describing Christian ever again.

"Exceptionally nice." I whisper to him, and then continue with the kiss.

He leans me back on the mattress, and positions himself beside me, never breaking the kiss. He runs one hand up inside my camisole and finds one nipple already peaked. "Oh Ana, you're so responsive. Your body wants to be mine." He twists my nipple causing me to harden even further.

Through his jeans, I can feel his erection growing with desire next to me. That's for me. I'm causing this reaction from him, and that fact amazes me. I place my hand on the bulge in his jeans as I continue the kissing. "I'm not the only one who's responsive, Christian." I whisper to him as I look in his eyes.

He smiles at me. "Oh Ana, what are you doing to me?"

"Feeling what I've done." I kiss his neck. I wish so badly that I can touch his chest.

"You're touching me, without permission." He warns me in a teasing whisper.

Permission? "Was I supposed to ask permission?" I ask him, as I unbutton his jeans, and then unzip them. I know I'm defying him, daring him to stop me.

He smiles at me. "You're not very good at following rules. We'll have to work on that after you sign the contract."

Sure. Right. Dream on, Mr. Grey. I will not become a docile and dutiful submissive. "And, right now?" I continue my journey inside his jeans, inside his underwear. I wrap my hand around his girth and pull out his impressive manhood.

Christian groans a low growl. "I'll have to let it go for now." He pulls my camisole off over my head, then pushes me up the bed further, then slams his mouth over one nipple. He sucks hard at first, and then eases up when I wince. He pulls my sweats down to my knees. "Oh Ana." He purrs appreciatively.

His purr is almost my undoing. I continue to stroke him up and down, just as he demonstrated earlier. He likes what I'm doing to him. I feel powerful to have so much control over him. I feel him remove his shoes, kicking them off. He manages to wedge his foot inside my sweats and push them down over my feet. They fall to the floor. He spreads my legs one at a time, with his hand. He runs a hand up my inner thigh to my apex, causing me to sigh in ecstasy at the first touch. I'm still a little sore, but this feels wonderful.

He gently presses his fingers in, even though I'm still wearing panties. I gasp in excitement. It hurts, but I want more. It feels beyond good. I slip my hand down to his scrotum and feel one side then the other.

"Gently Ana." He chastises me.

Oh, I'm supposed to be gentle with him, but he's not supposed to be gentle with me. That's a double standard if I've ever heard one. I softly rub his scrotum, feeling his manhood with my thumb. "Better?" I ask.

"Yes." He answers me, then slips my panties to the side, and slips a finger inside me. He makes a circular motion, feeling all sides of me. He begins kissing a trail down to my belly button. I arch my back in anticipation of what was coming next. After French kissing my belly button for a few seconds, he begins licking the edge of my panties. I'm panting uncontrollably now. I can't help it. Damn it. How did I lose control here? He's too good at sex. It's not fair.

I kiss him hungrily, thrusting my tongue in his mouth. Our tongues tangle for a few minutes, while our hands work each other over. I can't stop groping him, while he slowly enters and exits me with his finger skillfully. He uses his thumb to circle my clit occasionally.

"More Christian." I plead with him. I want more than his fingers.

He inserts another finger, stretching me out more, causing another sensation to run through my body. I pant even harder. I won't be able to take much more of this. He steps up and slips my panties down my legs. He pulls his jeans off, pulling a condom out of his pocket as he does. He rips opens a foil packet. It's music to my ears. Finally I'm about to have what I want more than anything in the world right now. He smiles at me. It's an evil smile, as if he has further plans for me.

"Scoot up to the top of the bed in the center." He orders me.

I want what's waiting on me, hard and ready, sheathed with a condom, so I do exactly as he says. I wait expectantly.

"Raise your hands above your head." He commands.

I'm not quite sure about this, but I do it anyway. He grabs the tie from my bathrobe that is hanging on the door. His smile is enormous as he walks over to me, gracefully. He ties one wrist, then runs the robe tie through the iron railing, then grabs my other wrist and ties it.

"How's that?" he asks.

I give him a look. How am I supposed to answer that?

"Can you move?" he asks.

I pull on the ties, demonstrating to him that they are secure. I won't be going anywhere any time soon. I shake my head to him.

He sits down at my side, looking me over. "What shall I do to you now, Ana?"

"Well, I was hoping…" I start, trying to be funny.

He places a finger on my lip to silence me. "I was thinking out loud."

I look at him. What is he thinking? Was this smart of me to let him tie me up like this? My inner goddess is sitting up in her chair with her eyes open wide as if she's watching a scary movie. Oh boy. I lean forward to try to sit up, but I can't make it to a full sitting position. I'm pulling against the restraints.

"Do you want up?" he asked me. He knew that I did. "Lie back Ana. I'm going to show you how _nice_ it is to know me."

Oh there's that word again. I wish I hadn't used that word now. "Can you be _nice_ when you show me?" I ask, trying to be funny.

He smirks at me. Oh no! I didn't know what was in store for me, but I'm scared now. He uses both hands to caress me from my knees to my chest. OK, this wasn't so bad. He tweaks both nipples roughly until I squirm under his touch. "Be still Ana, or I'll have to start over."

Oh this is going to be hard. Delayed gratification. At least I can see that he is still excited, and still wants me. His manhood is standing at full attention as he hovers above me and kisses my chest. He works his way down, and then positions himself between my legs. He uses two hands to open me up and look inside. I feel violated, but I feel so connected to him. It's so erotic.

"Is this _nice_?" he asks.

Oh there's that word again. "Yes!" I yell out in frustration. "It's nice. It's exceptional. It's mind blowing."

He chuckles, and then slips his tongue against my clit tentatively as if tasting the flavor of an ice cream cone. He pushes his tongue inside me and swirls it around which causes me to come unglued. I thrust my hips back and forth trying to keep time with his tongue. It's almost impossible, but that doesn't keep me from trying. I desperately need to keep him moving. Just as I'm almost to the edge, he stops abruptly.

"That's enough of that." he says.

What? No! I want to scream out. I am in desperate need, and he's stopping. He hovers above my body, and places his manhood at my entrance. Oh yes, please. He waits gazing into my eyes.

"Please." I beg.

"Please what?" he insists, holding off, holding out.

"Please fuck me sir." I beg. I'd do anything right now to get him inside me.

He smiles a victorious smile then slams himself inside me. It hurts some, but I don't care. I crash my hips against his repeatedly until I find my release. Oh the sweetness of the release feels like heaven. I relax for a second, before he comes with a final powerful thrust inward. "Oh Ana baby." He yells to me so loudly that I'm scared Kate will hear us.

I laugh at his outburst. The giddy feeling has returned. My inner goddess is satisfied; lying sprawled out in a hammock under a banana tree on a beach. She's exhausted.

He withdraws from me, causing a sharp sudden empty feeling. He lies down beside me. "I'm so mad at you Ana."

I smile at him.

He shakes his head, warning me. "I'm serious Ana. Do you know what that email did to me? I thought you were saying no completely. No negotiations whatsoever."

"It was a joke." I confess.

"A joke?" he asks angrily as he hovers above my body.

OK. Maybe I shouldn't have confessed my sin while I'm tied to my bed. What if he just leaves me here? I'd be so embarrassed to be forced to call Kate to untie me. And, what if Kate already left for the weekend to go with Elliot? I'd be stuck here for days. I start to panic contemplating the endless disasters this presented.

"Where's that sense of humor? I know you have one." I try to be funny again.

"Oh I'm very displeased, Ana." He says then shakes his head from left to right slowly. He leans over closer to me, and brings his mouth down onto mine. He doesn't kiss me. He simply hovers there for a second.

I'm confused. I pull my head up and try to kiss him, but he pulls up just out of my reach. I pull back and look up at him. His eyes give away nothing.

"I think you deserve a punishment fuck Ana."

"What?" I laughed. I'd never heard of that. "Isn't that an oxymoron?"

"And a spanking." He adds, firmly, his face rigid.

Oh god! Is he serious? I didn't think the hard stuff would start until after I signed the contract. He steps up off of the bed, and flips me over to my stomach. My hands are now held together tightly above my head due to the tie being twisted now. I try to look back at him to see if he's serious. I barely catch a glance of his face. He's got a smile plastered on it, as if he's going to enjoy this. He sits on the bed beside me, still naked.

"Are you ready Ana?" he asks. I can hear the pleasure of anticipation in his voice.

I don't think I'm ready for this but I'm so damned curious. I've read so much on the internet about this, and maybe there's something to it. So many people seem to enjoy this type of sex. How bad could it be? "I'm ready." I say bravely. My inner goddess almost faints in disbelief. I may be joining her soon.

Christian rubs my ass seductively all around, then he brings his hand down on it. Hard. I wince. It did hurt, but I can handle it. He rubs me again, and then he smacks me again. Ouch! That one kind of hurt. He rubs again, not nearly as long this time, then another smack. OK, this is getting painful. How can anyone like this? He rubs me again, as I'm reeling from the pain. But I do like the rubbing part. I'm undecided as to whether it's a fair tradeoff. As I'm deliberating, Christian brings his hand down even harder this time.

"Ouch!" I yell out to him. Oh, I hope Kate doesn't hear this.

"You've been bad, Ana. I must punish you." Christian says. There's pleasure saturating his voice. It scares me that he's getting turned on by this. He brings his hand down several more times, each time hurting worse than the last.

"Stop, please Christian. You're hurting me." I say firmly. I'm done with this. I don't want to play this game any longer. It's painful and makes me feel like an errant child.

"This is not supposed to be pleasurable Ana. And the fucking you'll get afterwards will be for my pleasure, not yours." He brings his hand down again and again. I've lost count as to how many times he has struck my bare behind.

I squirm, trying to wiggle out of his grasp. He easily returns me to my position. I lay still in my humiliating position, hoping it will be over soon. I can't believe he likes this shit. This is horrible. He is fucked up. This is so wrong. I can't take any more. "Christian, stop!" I say firmly, trying to let him know that I'm serious.

"The safe word is the only thing that will actually stop me, Ana." He warns me.

"Red!" I yell out. "Red! Red! Red! I want you to stop Christian. I don't like this."

Christian steps up and unties my hands. I roll over to my back. My butt hurts something fierce. I know that I have tears in my eyes but I don't care. I look up into Christian's face. He is looking at me with a hurt face, as if I've hurt his feelings somehow. I don't understand this at all. I should be the one with that hurtful look on my face. I stare at him for a minute.

"I'm sorry." He mutters, and then he leans over to kiss me.

I turn my head away from him. I don't want to kiss him. I don't want to touch him. I sit up on the bed. He sits next to me. He tries to put his arm around me. I shrug away from him. I stand up to take the weight off of my aching butt and put some distance between us. "I'm sorry Christian."

"You'll learn as we continue your training. You're still new to this." He says, and then reaches up to my hand.

I pull my hand away from his grasp. "No, I won't. I'll never understand why you need to hurt me. I will never like being hurt." I start to cry.

"It's the way I'm built, Ana. I have to have control."

"It's not the way _I'm_ built. I can't be your submissive, Christian. I can't do this. Ever again. I won't do it."

"You're turning down my offer?" he asks, his voice soft.

"Yes. I don't want any part of it. Take your laptop, your phone, and your car. They were all on loan. I'm returning them now. And please take your books too. That'll save us another awkward meeting." I say strongly as I stand in front of him naked, feeling ashamed for allowing this to happen to me. How did I let it get this far? I'm a grown woman for Christ's sake.

"Ana, maybe I rushed you. We could ease into it slower next time. Can we talk about this?"

"No Christian. I don't want to talk. I've been spanked, humiliated, and degraded by a man that I thought really cared for me. I want you to leave now."

"Ana, I don't want to leave you like this. Let me stay and make it up to you. I want to make sure you're alright." He stands up and steps closer to me.

I know what he's trying to do. He's trying to distract me with sex. It wasn't going to work this time. I'd always given in because I loved the way he smelled, and the effect he had on me when he was close. I wasn't going to be sidetracked this time. "I'll be fine Christian. After you leave."

Christian pulls on his clothes, and grabs the phone and the laptop. He glances over at me several times. It was almost as if he was hoping I would stop him. I didn't. I watch as he walks out the door, out of my life. When I hear the front door close, I slip my sweats and camisole back on. The sweats chafe my reddening butt. I make my way slowly to the bathroom to take a hot bath.

I turn on the hot water, and then I hear Kate knock on the bathroom door. "Ana? Are you OK?" she asks through the door.

"I'm fine, Kate. Or I will be." I answer her, hoping she'll just let this one go without the Kate Kavanagh inquisition. Am I fine? Will I ever be fine again? Does a girl ever get over a guy like Christian Grey? My heart is aching. I realize that my butt will stop hurting way before my heart does.

* * *

More coming soon. You didn't think I'd end it that way, did you? Thanks for reading. Please review and tell me what you think. I've never done fan fiction before.

I also write as Autumn Brown on Siren Bookstrand and Amazon if you'd like to take a look at my first two published books.

My new website is here: AutumnBrownBooks


	2. Shades Of Steele Chapter 2

Just as I suspect, it takes days to get over my sore lower half. I'm two weeks post Christian Grey and my heart still aches. In fact, it's getting worse. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I move helplessly from day to day, counting the minutes and the hours until I can be alone where I can wallow in peace. It didn't help that Christian handed me my diploma on graduation night. I had trouble looking at him, but I managed. I could see that there were regrets in his eyes as well. He held my hand tightly when he shook it. The desire was definitely still there for me. I couldn't deny it. I think I would have jumped back in bed with him if he would have asked that night. Thank God he didn't.

It doesn't help my wounded heart that Kate is deliriously happy with Elliot. I try not to look too pitiable when Elliot's around the apartment. I don't want him reporting back to Christian how horrible I'm handling all of this. I'm happy for Kate, but I wish I wasn't surrounded by her happiness twenty four seven. It's depressing.

On the brighter side of things, I got the job that I applied for at SIP. I am now the assistant to Jack Hyde, a commissioning editor there. He's a nice guy, although he's a bit too touchy feely for me. He seems to know the ins and outs of publishing quite well. I'm excited to be learning a lot from him. I've been working there for two days. It's a constant whir of activity. I love being paid to read manuscripts. I'm flattered that Jack thinks so highly of my opinion of the manuscripts that he asks me to read. Some of them are quite boring, however, some of them are outstanding. Jack counts on me to tell him the difference. SIP doesn't want someone in Jack's position wasting his time reading crap.

Jack has asked me out for drinks twice. Twice I've turned him down. I am so not interested in another relationship at the moment. In fact, I'm not interested in anything at the moment. I'm still in so much pain over Christian that I find it hard to concentrate on anything for more than five minutes. Everything I see and hear reminds me of Christian. How could I have been so naïve? I feel like a child falling for him so hard, when he obviously didn't care for me.

"Ana? Did you choose the two best for me from the slush pile? We're looking for the next best seller." Jack calls to me from his office.

I jump out of my skin. I've been caught daydreaming about Christian Grey again. Oh well, no one has to know. One thing about this job, I can always pretend that I was reading. I jump out of my seat and carry two manuscripts to Jack. "I liked these two the best. However I liked this one a lot more than I liked the other one." I report to Jack as I place the manuscripts on his desk.

"Very good Ana. I knew you were going to be an asset to this department." Jack coos softly to me. "What about this one won you over?"

"It's more tragic. And, more real. Love doesn't always work out for two people. Sometimes it doesn't conquer all" I say.

"Sounds like you've recently been jilted. I hope that doesn't affect your opinions."

I chuckle. "It's also better writing. A much more interesting plot. Quicker pace. A real page turner. I'd love to read the rewrite if we can entice this author into signing with us."

"So, are you reeling from a break-up?" Jack asks.

The question is too personal for me. I don't feel like I know Jack well enough to be talking about my boyfriends with him. "Two weeks ago. I really don't feel like talking about it though."

"Well, let me take you out for drinks. We can commiserate together. I've recently been dumped myself." Jack steps up and puts his arm around me. I'm sure he means it as a thoughtful, caring gesture, but it doesn't feel like one. It feels like a move.

"Thanks." I side step away from him. "I really just want to drown my woes in a half gallon of ice cream for a while longer."

"Well, when you're ready, I'd be glad to have a few beers. There's a great bar across the street. It's called Fifties."

Fifties? Hell. I almost start crying right there in the office. Does everything have to remind me of him?

"Did I say something wrong?" Jack asks quickly.

"No. I'm just really busy. I should get back to my reading." I lie, and then walk out of his office. I head toward the restroom, where I find a stall to hide in and cry. It seems that I've been crying nonstop since I asked Christian to leave that night two weeks ago. I wonder if I made the right decision, but I couldn't handle that kind of a relationship. He'd be better off with a new sub, one that knew how to do all of the things that subs do.

Two weeks later, I'm starting to feel almost normal again. I've made friends at work. I've met an assistant to another editor in the office. Her name is Clara. She's a riot at times. The casual friendship helps immensely. Of course, I tell no one about Christian Grey. I did sign an NDA after all. I'd love to tell everyone who would listen that I dated the dashing Mr. Grey for all of twenty minutes, but I tell no one.

As I drive past the building where I work, I think I spot Christian's car parked in the front. I don't have time to stop and look. I'm almost late for work, again. Wanda has been having some troubles starting in the mornings. She's never let me down, but her near misses cause me to put a call in to Jose. I park in the parking deck, and walk across the street into my building. I don't spot Christian's car. Maybe I was imagining things.

I run past the security guard, flashing my badge at him. He smiles, and waves me in. I step into the elevator just as it's about to close. There are four people on it. I glance around at all the faces, hoping that I know someone. Holy shit! It's Christian. My heart stops. My knees go weak. He's staring at me. My inner goddess wakes up from her three week nap. I haven't seen him since graduation night.

"Anastasia." He says. It's a greeting. He's smiling.

"Mr. Grey." I'm polite even though I want to jump off of the elevator. I press my button. I wonder what he's doing here, in my building. I want to ask, but there are three other people here. I twist my hands and stare at them. I will the elevator to move faster. Of course, it stops at every floor to pick up more people, or let people off.

"How's the new job going?" Christian asks. He's acting like we're casual friends. How can he be so cavalier about our past together? I'm barely able to stand on my own two feet, and he's acting as if I meant nothing to him. Maybe I didn't. I mean I was one of fifteen.

"Fine, thank you." Politeness always wins out, above all.

A woman on the elevator turns to look at Christian discreetly. Her eyes light up when she gets a good look up and down his entire body. Yes, it is as good as it looks. I feel a pang of jealousy even though I know I shouldn't. He's not mine. He never was mine. I'm sad about that fact, but there's nothing I can do, short of agreeing to becoming his sub, which I will not do.

The elevator stops and the doors open. All but three of us step off. Christian is still staring at me when I glance his way. Why is he still staring? I'm suddenly very self conscious, even more than usual. I'm wearing a nice blue dress that I've actually bought myself. My first paycheck went completely for clothes. I needed everything. I felt so underdressed the first week here at SIP. I borrowed from Kate as much as I could, but I didn't feel right about borrowing from her all the time.

The elevator stopped at the next floor, and the only man besides Christian, stepped off. I almost stepped off with him, but I remained steadfast. I could do this. My inner goddess pumps her fist in the air, cheering me on. The air is so thick that I'm sure I could cut it if I had a knife. My libido awakens for the first time in a month. I can imagine his mouth on mine. The elevator reminds me of our first kiss. I can't help the memories flooding my mind.

"Ana, I think we should talk." Christian starts.

"We don't have anything to discuss, Christian." I cut him off. There, take that, control freak!

"We should have coffee or tea. I'd like to discuss how we're going to…"

The elevator door opens, and I jump off without looking back. "Sorry, I'm in a hurry, Christian." I say to him as I go to my cube in front of Jack's office.

Thankfully Jack isn't in the office for another hour. I sit down and steady my shaking legs. I'm proud of myself for handling that so well. I didn't cry. I didn't latch onto his leg and refuse to let him go. My inner goddess is high-fiving me. I've done well.

Jack makes his way into his office an hour later, calling out orders for his coffee. I jump up and make the coffee, then bring it to his office. I sit it on his desk. "Ana, I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, Jack. What is it?" I ask him as I sit in the chair opposite his desk. I feel self conscious standing in front of him, because he always looks me over from head to toe, then back up again. Sexism is alive and well in this office.

"There's an authors' conference next week in New York. I have to attend. I was hoping you'd like to go with me, help me scope out a few more authors. I could use your input."

I stop breathing for a second. My first thoughts are that he is trying to be smooth and make this into a romantic weekend compliments of SIP. Hopefully I am wrong. I'd have to remember the moves Ray taught me if it came to that. "Sure Jack. I'd love to go to New York."

"Great. Can you fill out the requisition for the airline tickets for both of us? And, the hotel reservations. Clara can help you if you don't know how."

"Thanks, Jack." I say appreciatively. New York will be fun. I need to get away. A change of scenery will do me some good, especially after my elevator ride this morning. I wonder why Christian is in my building. He owns so many businesses that he probably has one or two in this building.

I walk over to Clara's desk carrying a travel requisition paper. "Hi Clara!" I say to her in my best girlfriend voice.

"Hi girl." She says from behind her desk. "What did you need?"

How did she know I needed something? Maybe because every time I come to her desk, I need something. I hold out the requisition form. "I need your help filling this out. Jack is taking me to New York for the conference."

She gave me a look, raising her eyebrows to me. "He is. Is he?"

"Is that a problem?" I ask.

"Most editors don't take their assistants. I've been here for four years. I haven't been to a conference with Alicia yet." She tapped her pen on her desk.

"Maybe it's because I'm new." I offer her an answer.

She twists her mouth, telling me she doesn't think that's the reason. My inner goddess agrees with her. She's holding her hands out, giving me one of her "I told you so" looks. Clara shakes her head. "It's because of the dresses you've been wearing. He's made no bones about the way he feels about you."

"Oh no." I say. "Has he been saying things? Inappropriate things? There's nothing going on with him. I swear."

"I know that. But does he know that?"

"I haven't said it in words, but I've been trying to say it with my actions. I step away when he steps too close. I pull my hand away when he puts his hand on mine. I'm not sure what else to do."

"Just wait until he asks you out, and say no thank you."

"He's asked me out for drinks three times now. I've said no all three times. I'm not sure what else to do."

"Did you try the 'I've got a boyfriend' angle?"

"No." I can't hide the disappointment I feel in myself. "In fact, I told him that I'd just broken up with a boyfriend."

"Oh boy, that just fueled his fire. He thought you were tossing your skirt in the ring with that one."

"Oh no." I sigh.

"You can do this, Ana. He'll take the hint eventually. Of course, Maggie had to quit because she couldn't take it."

"Who's Maggie?"

"His last assistant. He wouldn't leave her alone."

"Oh boy. Maybe I should make up some excuse to not go to New York. I can come up with something."

"I'm not sure that'll help." Clara says. "Let's fill out your req form."

She takes the form from me and helps me fill it out. We decide that we need to go the night before the conference and leave on the last day. We will be staying for three days total. I can handle Jack for three days. Surely he's not dangerous, just overly anxious.

"Now take this up to Ellen's office and have her sign it. Then you can purchase the tickets online and make the reservations." Clara hands me the requisition form.

I take it and jump on the elevator again. I go up two floors to Ellen's office. I ask Dora, her assistant, if she's free. She tells me to go on in. I walk in to find Christian Grey sitting behind her desk with her. They're deeply engrossed in a discussion from the looks of things. They both glance up at me as I walk in interrupting them. I freeze. Holy shit! Not again. I don't think I can take two Christian Grey sightings in one day.

"Can I help you with something, Ana?" Ellen asks after I've stood like a total moron for way too long.

Christian is staring at me, waiting for me to say something.

"Yes. I need this requisition form signed for Jack." I finally spit out. I hand her the form.

"You're going to New York for the conference. That's nice of Jack to take you along. I hope he has the budget set aside for two attendees." She says as she reads over the paper.

I take the opportunity to stare at Christian since Ellen isn't looking my way. He has an intense look on his face. "May I see that?" he takes the paper from Ellen. What the hell is he doing? He has no business looking at my travel plans.

I'm appalled. I do my best to give him a dirty look, but he's not looking at me any longer. He's looking at the form. But why? He shakes his head. No? No to what? He looks up at me.

"Tell Jack he'll have to go alone. We're trying to get a handle on all unnecessary expenses. We can only allow one attendee per department." Christian says with authority.

Who the hell does he think he is? Oh shit! It dawns on me. He's my boss. He's bought the company. Or did he own it the whole time? My mouth opens and I have to consciously close it. "But Sasha was going too." I say softly.

"Who's Sasha?" Christian asks Ellen.

"She's another editor in their department, along with Alicia, and Beverly." Ellen answers him immediately as if she's his assistant.

Hell, he does own the company. He's even got Ellen under his command, kissing his ass.

"Sasha can go. Editors only. Until further notice." Christian says, then looks at me. He hands my paper back unsigned.

I take it from him, glaring at him. How dare he! I'm sure his disapproval has nothing to do with our budget. I turn around and walk out of the office. I'm reeling from the turn of events. Is he going to be in the office on a daily basis? Surely he has better things to do than supervise a publishing house. He has lots of businesses. Why didn't he tell me he owned SIP? Maybe that's what he was trying to tell me this morning when I cut him off. Maybe this is my fault. How am I going to handle this everyday? Maybe I should look for another job, but I was starting to really like this one.

I return the paper to Jack and tell him that Ellen turned it down and that he'd have to go alone. He gave a look of contempt. "Fill out another for me to go alone and get it signed. Sorry, Ana."

"That's OK. I'll survive." I tell him. I'm not sure I'll survive another trip to Ellen's office though.

I fill out another requisition form and I take it to Ellen's office. Christian smiles from behind the desk. He knows he's won this round. I hand the paper to him. He signs it after reading it, and hands it back to me without a word. It hurts being so close to him. The memories of our time together haunt me.

"Thank you, Mr. Grey." I say sweetly. I wouldn't have been nearly as sweet if Ellen hadn't been by his side.

"You're welcome, Ms. Steele." He says.

I know he's gloating over his victory. I feel like turning in my resignation right this minute. I don't. I don't have any other job opportunities. I turn on my heels and walk out. Just as I'm about to close the door, I turn around to see Christian smiling at me. I melt. That smile still affects me, and it pisses me off. He knows it judging by the look on his face. That pisses me off to. I don't want anything about Christian Grey affecting me. Ever again.

After I manage to get through the rest of my day without running into Christian again, I make my way to Jose's mom's house. That's where we always work on my car. Jose lives in an apartment. His mom has a house out in the country. It's perfect for working on Wanda, especially since she used to own it. She likes seeing Wanda again. It's funny to see the look on her face when I drive up each time.

"Hi Rosa." I say to her as I step out of my car.

She laughs at me. She pats Wanda on the hood. "You're taking good care of her. Aren't you?"

"Of course I am, Rosa." I tell her. "Where's Jose?"

I don't see Jose's car anywhere.

"He's inside. A friend dropped him off." She says in a very strong Latino accent, then she yells toward the house. "Mijo!"

That means baby boy in Spanish. I've picked up quite a few words over the years. It's funny that she calls Jose her baby boy. He towers over her by about a foot. Jose comes running out the door and down the steps. "Ana, girl. It's so good to see you."

Rosa goes into the house, but not before yelling to us to be careful with her baby. I know she's talking about Wanda. She loves this car so much. I'm surprised she sold it to me. I hug Jose. We've finally gotten over our awkwardness after he almost forced himself on me that one night. We've chalked it up to the liquor, and he promised that it would never happen again. I didn't want to lose Jose as a friend. He'S meant too much to me over the years. Plus, I don't have a lot of close friends.

"I brought the spark plugs. I asked the guy to help me out just like you told me to." I say to Jose, handing him the bag from the parts store.

"Good job, Ana." He says, then takes the bag. He opens the hood, and begins working on the car.

I stand by his side, more for moral support than to help him out. I don't know much about cars, except how to start them and when to call Jose. Yesterday was the time to call Jose. He'd have her back to her old self in a matter of minutes. "So how are things? How's the new job going?" he asks me.

"It's great. Or it was great. I got the surprise of my life today."

"Really? Do tell!" Jose acts eager to learn what my surprise was.

"Christian Grey bought my company."

"Holy mother of all." He exclaims. "Is he going to fire you?"

"I don't think so." Oh no. Is he going to fire me? That though hadn't crossed my mind until now. Thanks Jose! Is that what he wanted to talk about today? "Well, I hope not."

"If he just bought the company, that's not a good sign, Ana."

"Maybe he bought it a while back. Maybe I just found out about it today."

"Maybe. I think it takes a while to buy a company. I don't know much about big business." Jose gives me some relief.

He's probably right. Christian probably started the business dealings months ago on this deal. I try to relax, but I can't. Now I'm nervous about my future with the company.

"Besides, it's not like he's going to be there all the time. Right?"

"Surely not." I agree. "He owns so many companies."

I can't help but be a little prideful that he owns so many companies. Jose is one guy that I can talk to about the fact that I dated Christian, and this is all I can say about him. Damn NDA. Not that I'd tell Jose about the submissive part of the story anyway. I just wish I didn't have to watch what I said all the time.

"Are you sure you did the right thing ending things with him?" Jose asks. "I mean, I never liked the guy, but I can tell that you miss him."

"It's too late now. I'm sure he's got another…girlfriend by now."

"You'll never know if you don't try." Jose is honestly trying to be helpful. I can't tell him that I don't want to resume a relationship with Christian because I don't particularly like being spanked.

"That ship has sailed. It didn't work for us."

"OK." Jose says. "Try it now."

I step in my car and start it. It starts right up this time. It's the first time in days that she's started on the first attempt. I'm happy that I won't be stuck at work, or stuck getting to work. I jump out of the car. "Thanks Jose. You did it again." I hug him.

He holds me longer than I intend. I can tell that he still wants more out of the relationship, but he's keeping it to himself. It's better this way. "Can you come in for some sopapillas? My mom just made some. They're hot and fresh. She has some fresh honey too."

"Of course. I wouldn't miss fresh sopapillas." I say as I follow Jose into the house. Rosa makes the best sopapillas in the world. I'd never tried them before I met Jose. Now I will never do without them. "Hi Rosa."

Rosa is dishing out another batch of the fresh goodies from the frying pan. I grab one from the plate. It's hot and ready for honey. I eat one quickly, realizing that I haven't eaten much in the last few weeks. It feels funny when it hits my stomach.

"Eat some more, Ana. You're way too skinny. We need to fatten you up, mija." Rosa says to me.

"You really are too skinny." Jose adds. "I didn't want to be rude, but you look like you've lost five pounds or more."

"I'm eating. I'm fine you two." I say to them. Urging me to eat reminds me of Christian. Why can't I quit thinking about him?

I stay and talk with Jose and Rosa for another thirty minutes, then I thank them both and drive back to my apartment. Well, it's Kate's apartment. Only she's not here. She's vacationing with her family for a few weeks. I've always envied her, even though she's my best friend. Every summer, she and Ethan would go on these exotic vacations, and I'd stay at the apartment alone.

I watch some television for the first time in a month, then I check my email on Kate's computer, something else I haven't done in a month. It's not like anyone ever emails me. My teachers did on occasion, while I was in college. I had a cousin that emailed sometimes. But most of the time, my inbox had zero messages. It's sad. However, today when I open it up, I have seven messages. They are all from Christian Grey. I sorted them by date, then started reading the earliest one first.

"Ana, I'm sorry about tonight. I do hope you'll forgive me so we can try again."

I clicked on the arrow that took me to the next message.

"Ana, I'm worried about you. Please call me. I know you have my number in your old phone."

I'm kind of glad I didn't see this one at first. I would have deleted it immediately. I click to the next message.

"Ana, I miss you. Can't we work this out somehow?"

No. Next message.

"Ana, congratulations on your new job. I know you'll do well."

So he knew about my job. Is he stalking me?

"Ana, we need to talk. Call me please. I have news."

This one was dated almost two weeks ago. That's probably when he bought SIP. I'm not sure I would have called him after this message or not. It was too late now.

"Ana, I'd like to talk. Please call me."

Next message.

"Ana, I still miss you. Please reconsider."

Reconsider the contract? Not on your life, Christian Grey.

"Ana, I think we should still talk about how we need to handle our relationship at work. I wasn't at all happy about our interaction today. I will be around SIP occasionally in case you're wondering. Can we talk soon? Sorry about the trip to New York."

I wonder exactly what he's sorry about. I still have no desire to call him, or to talk to him. I can avoid him at work. That would be best for both of us, especially me. My inbox alerts me to one more message while I'm reading the last one. I click on the button that gives me my new mail. It's from Christian. I open it. He's not here. He won't see how fast I click on it.

"Ana, I know you're online. I've been alerted that you've just read the last seven messages I've sent to you. Can you at least email me back?"

Darn it! And now he's been alerted to the reading of this one. What can I do? I rack my brain. I have to handle this delicately since he's my boss now.

I type an email to him. "Mr. Grey, You are my boss now, however that does not make me your submissive. (Nor will it ever.) If you'd like to talk to me, you can do it on company time, in the office during normal business hours. Thank you."

I hit the send button before I chicken out. I take a deep breath and wait for a reply. Thirty seconds later I open a new email from him. I used to love getting messages from him.

"Ana, I felt I would have been intruding and pushing my luck, if I would have called you. By the way, your phone is still on forward. Your Blackberry has been ringing off the wall in case you're interested. Jose has called a few times. Kate a few times, and your mother twice. You may want to return their calls. I'll see you tomorrow at the office. Do I need an appointment?"

Damn. No wonder my phone hasn't been ringing. My inner goddess rolls her eyes at me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I take it off of forward. And how long was he going to wait to tell me about that? I wonder if he listened to any of my messages. Of course he did. He has stalker tendencies.

I type another email. "Mr. Grey, No the boss doesn't need an appointment to talk to the lowly editor's assistant. My time is yours during business hours. Drop by any time, but preferably early before my coworkers arrive. I don't want anyone seeing us together. I've signed an NDA after all."

I hit "send" quickly, then wait thirty seconds before I receive a reply.

"Ana, I'll be at your desk at 7:30. I look forward to seeing you."

Oh damn. What had I just agreed to? I've agreed to meet with the devil. That's what I've done. Maybe I should call in sick tomorrow. Maybe I should turn in my resignation. I can find another job eventually. I try to go to sleep, but sleep escapes me most of the night. I'm anxious about seeing Christian tomorrow. I'll actually have to talk to him since he's my boss.

I dress in my nicest, newest outfit. I bought it with my new paycheck which I've kind of become accustomed to receiving nowadays. I look as good as I can look in my red skirt suit. I pull my hair back and put a ribbon around it. I want to look professional, but I want to look good too.

As I walk into the office, I immediately see that Christian is waiting on my desk. No one else is in the office as of yet. We're alone. I'm usually the first one in. I can always knock out a manuscript in the morning before Jack or anyone else arrives. I walk up to my desk and hang my coat on the chair, trying desperately to act nonchalant.

"Hello, Mr. Grey." I say to him.

He turns toward me. "Hello Ana. You look lovely, as usual."

"Careful, Mr. Grey. There are sexual harassment laws in this state." I try to be funny, but it comes across as more snarky than funny.

Christian's lips turn up slightly on the corners. There's a start to a smile, but he stifles it. "I'm well aware of the laws in this state. I've been running companies for years, and I've never had a complaint filed against me for sexually harassing any of my employees."

"Why did you buy my company?" I blurt out. Where's my filter? Maybe it's on vacation with Kate.

"Ms. Steele. This company isn't yours. It's mine." He says with a smile. He's actually trying to be funny. He's in a good mood it seems.

"Touché, Mr. Grey." I say, then laugh at the rhyme.

He smiles. He almost laughs, but he catches himself. "I thought we might need to set down some ground rules." he starts.

"Oh you and your rules, Mr. Grey. Perhaps you should type them up for me in the form of something like say… a contract, then we can discuss the hard and soft limits over dinner."

I'm proud of myself for my complex, yet witty and involved joke.

"Dinner? You'd consider dinner with me?" he asks hopefully. That's the only thing he took out of that?

"No." I snap quickly. "It was a joke."

"Oh, Ana. Your jokes have gotten you into a bit of trouble before, if I recall. You really need to learn when and where they're appropriate." He says. I can't tell if he's joking or not and it scares me. Again.

"Point well made, Mr. Grey. Exactly what did we need to discuss?" I ask, trying to change the subject to anything but my humiliating spanking that dreadful day.

"I'll be in and out of the office for a few more weeks. More in than out. And I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"And if I was uncomfortable?" I ask him.

"Then I'd ask you to take a few weeks off. I don't think you're terribly uncomfortable though. You seem to be taking this in stride. I must say that you're faring better than I am." He says with a look into my eyes.

Was he trying to get me to feel sorry for him?

"You seem to be carrying on with business as usual, Mr. Grey. Can you answer a question for me honestly?"

"I'm always honest with you, Ana." He acts like his feelings are hurt.

"Did you buy SIP because I work here?"

"I started the negotiations to purchase SIP long before you were hired. It was only final a few days ago."

Well maybe he's not lying to me, but he sure as hell is beating around the bush.

"Did your decision to look into SIP have anything to do with me?"

He hesitates. I have my answer now.

"Are you going to sell it? Will I still have a job next week?" I ask him. I know he sells companies just as quickly as he buys them sometimes. He's a business man, only cares about the bottom line.

"You have a job here as long as you want it, unless you commit a felony or another grave error." He smiles at me.

"Christian, I don't want any preferential treatment, just because I used to fuck the boss." I say firmly. "Promise me."

He gives me a hurt look again. I raise my eyebrows at him, insisting on his promise.

"None." He agrees.

Clara walks into the office about that time. We both turn toward her. Oh shit! I didn't want anyone to see Christian here.

"Thanks for the information, Ms. Steele." Christian says then turns away from me and walks out toward the elevator.

After he's gone, Clara looks over toward me. She raises her eyebrows. "He's hot. Who was he?" she calls over to me.

Oh I don't need this. "Some bigwig came down to check out how the other half live."

"Bigwig? I haven't seen him before."

"He's new." I answer her. I'm not sure if it's public knowledge that Christian has bought the company or not. I'd better keep my mouth shut.

As the weeks go by, I work my ass off for Jack. I even begin taking manuscripts home to read them. I rarely run into Christian, except occasionally as I'm stepping on the elevator. I seriously consider taking the stairs, but it's nine flights, and I don't like to be sweaty at work. Somehow I've managed to come to terms with the status quo relationship that I have with the great Christian Grey.

My desk phone rings. The caller ID says that it's Ellen. I wonder if it's actually Christian since he's sharing an office with her practically. I answer it cautiously. "Hello, this is Ana Steele. Can I help you?"

"Yes, Ana. This is Ellen. Can you come up to my office for a minute?" she asks.

"Sure." I answer, then hang up. I look for Jack to tell him, but can't find him. He's missing again. He's missing a lot. I often wonder where he's at, but then I remember that I don't really care, as long as he's leaving me alone. "Clara? Can you tell Jack that I had to run to Ellen's office if you see him?"

"Sure thing." Clara calls out to me as I punch the elevator call button. I wonder if I'll see Christian there. I find myself actually hoping that he's there. I actually enjoyed our banter a few weeks ago, when we talked.

I step off of the elevator onto the executive floor. The execs occupy the top floor of the building. I think it's supposed to be a statement of some kind to the rest of us. I walk into Ellen's office. Her assistant isn't at her desk and Ellen's door is open. To my surprise and slight disappointment, Christian isn't in the office with them. There's Ellen, and Jack. Hmm! I wonder what's going on, then I suddenly worry. Am I about to get fired? Why is Jack in here? What have I done? I can only think of one thing: I dated Christian Grey. Damn it. This will be almost as bad as being spanked.

"Ana. Sit down. We have something we'd like to discuss with you." Ellen says, as Jack points to a chair across from Ellen's desk.

Jack is all smiles. I'm not sure if this is good or bad.

"What is it?" I ask, unable to contain my apprehensions any longer.

"Jack tells us that you've been doing a superb job reading the manuscripts and reviewing them for us. He's already made offers to three of the authors that you recommended."

Wow. This feels good. I'm being praised in front of the boss. I wish Christian was here to see this. Why did he have to pick today to be missing from the offices? "Thank you." I accept the compliment graciously, even though I know I'm ten shades of red right now.

"It's true. You've been doing an outstanding job. I think the authors you've turned us onto are going to be best sellers in the near future. They really show a lot of promise. Just as you do." Jack adds.

"Thanks." I say again. I can feel my face heating up with another few shades of red, maybe purple by now. I wonder if they're about to give me some kind of a pin from the company, or maybe a raise. That would be so wonderful. I could buy more clothes.

"Well, Ana, we didn't call you in here to beam over you. Or at least not just to beam over you." Ellen starts, then laughs. "There's a commissioning editor's position open, and we'd like to ask you to fill it."

"There is?" I ask, then it hits me. They're offering me a promotion. "You want me to take it?"

"Yes, Ana. We'd like you to take the position. Beverly left the company due to family illness. She's moving back to Tennessee to be closer to her ailing parents. She's afraid her mother doesn't have much longer, and she knows her father is going to need all the help he can get after her mother passes away. She has stage four breast cancer."

That's horrible. "I'm so sorry for Beverly." I say, thinking how I'd feel if my mother were ill. I would be devastated if my mother died.

"We like to promote from within when possible, so if you'd like the position, it's yours." Ellen says.

"Doesn't Jack want it? Or any of the other editors?"

"It's a lateral move for Jack. It wouldn't be a wise move for him career-wise." Ellen explains.

Now I feel stupid. "Oh. OK." I say.

"OK, you'll take it?" Jack asks me to clarify my statement.

"Yes, I'll take it." I say to them both.

"Congratulations, Ana. You're going to be great." Jack says, then steps up to shake my hand. It's the most professional attitude I've seen from him since I started SIP. I realize that he's standing in front of his boss. Maybe that has something to do with it. "And if you need any guidance whatsoever, you can call me."

"Thanks, Jack!"

"Welcome aboard, Ana. I'm so glad that Jack talked us into hiring you." Ellen says.

"Me too."

Jack shows me to my new office and helps me get settled. He's genuinely glad to see me get this promotion. I didn't expect that from him. Of course, I didn't expect a promotion. I've only been working here for two months. Then it hits me like a brick. Christian! He did this. I'm so mad that I can't speak or think.

I carry all of my stuff from my desk over to my new office. It's next to Jack's office. It's nice and big. Clara watches me like a hawk as I haul my pile of manuscripts across the room. I don't say a word. I'm not sure my promotion has been announced yet. I don't want to make waves, and I especially don't want to rub this in Clara's face. I'm sure she was in the running too. And the only reason I won the promotion was because of Christian Grey. I'm sure of it. My blood is boiling as I file all of my manuscripts.

Clara knocks at the door. She's holding a dozen roses. "Delivery for Ms. Steele." She says.

"You don't have to call me Ms. Steele, Clara." I reprimand her. Is she trying to be funny?

"That's what the card says, Ms. Steele."

"Oh. Sorry." I laugh at myself. "And what else does the card say?"

She smiles at me. She knows that I know she's read it now. "It says congratulations on your promotion. Christian. Who is Christian?"

"An old friend." I say quickly. I can't very well tell her who Christian is, or who Christian was. Right now, he's toast. "I need to leave work a little early, Clara. Can you tell anyone who is looking for me?"

I take the flowers from Clara, and walk toward the elevator. I'm so mad that I could spit right now. I ride the elevator to Ellen's office. I walk in and look around. I only see Ellen and now I feel stupid for walking in unannounced.

"Beautiful roses, Ana. But really, you shouldn't have." She's joking with me. It's good to see that not all of the bosses are sticks in the mud.

"I was looking for Christian. Is he in?" I ask her.

"You mean, Mr. Grey." She corrects me.

"Yes, sorry, Mr. Grey."

"He's at his main office building I believe. He wasn't scheduled to be in here today."

"I wanted to thank him for the flowers."

I turned around and left Ellen's office. I was so mad about this. Did he think I couldn't make it on my own? Did he want me to owe him something? I did not want his influence and I did not need his influence. I'm sure I would have made it eventually on my own. In haste, and anger, I walk to Christian's office. It's about five blocks, but I manage to make it in record time.

When I step off of the elevator on his floor, I'm greeted by blonde #1. "Can I help you, Miss?" she asks.

"I'd like to speak to Christian Grey, please." I say with authority. That's the way Kate would have done it.

Blonde #2 jumps up from behind the reception desk. "He's in a meeting at the moment. Did you have an appointment?" She's completely polished and poised.

I'm sure that I look a mess after my five block walk. "I don't have an appointment, but can you buzz him and see if he'll see me anyway. It's important."

"What's your name Miss?"

"Anastasia Steele."

"I'll see if he can squeeze you in, Miss Steele." Blonde #2 says, as she types something into the computer.

Is she sending a message to the security team? She looks up from her computer immediately and says, "Go right in, Miss Steele."

I give her a look. Is she serious? I thought he was in a meeting. I clutch my roses tighter to my chest, and walk toward Christian's huge closed doors. I'm going to do my best not to fall through the door this time. Just as I'm about to turn the knob, it opens. Christian is standing on the other side, opening the door. He steps aside to let me in. "Ana." He says with a big smile.

He obviously thinks this is a social call. As if I'd actually walk all the way here to thank him for some flowers that blonde #2 probably ordered from the florist downstairs. I scoff at him. "Mr. Grey."

"I see you got the flowers. I picked them out myself from the flower shop downstairs." He smiles, but he's leery.

"I need to know something, Christian."

"Anything, Ana." He points to the chair in front of his desk.

I look at the chair but continue standing. "How could you force Ellen to promote me? I wanted to get my promotion on my own merit, not because you own the company, Christian." I am steaming.

Christian's face fills with surprise, then it grows stern. "Ana, I did not force anyone to promote you. I told you that I would stay out of your career, and I have. I'm a man of my word, Anastasia."

I don't believe a word of it. "Then, how did you know about my promotion before I did?" I ask. Take that, Mr. Grey. Weasel your way out of that one!

"Because I was in Ellen's office yesterday when Beverly turned in her resignation."

"And you thought you'd throw my name in the ring." I accuse him.

"I didn't mention your name. Ellen did. She called Jack up and they talked about it in front of me. I listened. I didn't speak or offer any advice. I knew you'd never forgive me if I used my influence."

"You had nothing to do with them choosing me over the five other assistant editors who have been there years longer than I have?"

"No, Ana! They are quite impressed with you. You've given them more authors and potential authors than any of the other assistant have in the last few years. They know a go-getter when they see one. Don't sell yourself short, Ana."

I try to let that sink in. I try to believe him. Is he telling me the truth? Has Ellen noticed everything I've done? I start to feel a little queasy. I sit on the edge of Christian's desk for support. He closes the distance between us, placing his hand on my forearm. "You promise?"

"I promise." Christian answers me. "Are you OK, Ana? You've lost a few shades in the last few seconds. Have you eaten lately?"

Oh, Fifty and his food hang-ups! "I'm fine. I'm just tired from running over here. I was all prepared to take your head off, and now I have nothing."

"It gave me a feeling of pride to hear Ellen and Jack sing your praises. You're an amazing woman, Anastasia."

"Thank you for the roses." I say softly as I gently place the roses on his desk. I hate eating crow. "I'm sorry I thought you were cheating the system. I should have known that you'd keep your promise. But it seems a little impossible that they've noticed me so soon."

"I think they noticed that Jack's team was suddenly putting out a lot more work, and they looked for the only possible cause. Jack couldn't deny the difference, so he joined in singing your praises."

I catch the tone that tells me his opinion of Jack. I choose to ignore it. We'd take that up at another time. I smile at him. He's close enough that I can smell him and I'm about to come undone. He smells of cologne and Christian Grey. I'm affected deeply. I can feel my breath quicken as I stand up. That brings me closer to Christian, closer to his body.

He looks down at me, then leans over and kisses me gently on the lips. I'm drawn to him, but he pulls away before I can return the kiss. Do I want to return the kiss? Yes, I do. I can't hold back any longer. I stand to my tiptoes and kiss him, wrapping my arms around his waist. His tongue joins mine as he explores my mouth. The kiss turns hot and needy. I feel Christian's arms wrap around my waist as he runs one hand up my back, supporting me. I can feel myself getting weaker.

"Oh, Ana. I've missed you so much." He breathes out the words between kisses.

"I've missed you, Christian." I say. What was I doing? Was I jumping back into the painful relationship that I didn't want, just because he looks so good that I could eat him right now? Was this just breakup sex? I didn't know. Right now I didn't care. I wanted him so badly that my teeth hurt. There was a fire of desire low in my stomach and I wanted to quench it. I push his jacket off of his shoulders.

He smiles, then takes over. He removes his jacket, and pushes me toward the wall behind the couch, right next to his pictures.

"Taking the ordinary and making it extraordinary again. Are you, Mr. Grey?" I ask him.

"There was never anything ordinary about you, Miss Steele. You were exquisite when you fell through my door." He whispers, then pushes me against the wall. He removes my jacket, then starts on the buttons of my blouse. I start on the buttons of his shirt. He takes over. Oh yes, he doesn't like to be touched. I take over my own blouse, and pull it off. I unzip my skirt, and let it drop to the floor. Thankfully, I'm wearing very nice lingerie today. Another gift I bought myself with my first paycheck.

He sighs, looking at me. He continues with his undressing, kicking off his shoes, and taking off his pants. He stands in front of me in his boxer briefs and T-shirt. I'm standing in my panties, bra, and red high heel shoes. He runs his hands over my stomach and up to my breasts. He cups them, then licks the edge of my lacy bra. "Mmm! Miss Steele, you look divine."

I love what I'm doing to him. I love him. How could I ever have let this gorgeous creature go? It won't happen again. I rub the bulge in his boxer briefs, causing him to grow even bigger. "Responsive as always, Mr. Grey." I say to him.

He runs his hand down to my thighs, and then runs it back up, until he hits that special spot. He digs in with two fingers. That's not enough for him. It's not enough for me. He pushes one of my legs up and pins it against the wall. He slips my panties to the side and slips a finger inside me. "I'm not the only one, am I?"

I shake my head, as I pull his face closer to mine. I hungrily kiss his lips as I thrust my hips back and forth, keeping time with the rhythm of his fingers. I can't get enough of him. He knows it. He's taunting me with his self control. He has so much. I have none. "I need you, Christian. Please don't make me wait any longer."

"But I want to lick you first. I've needed you for the last six weeks, Ana. Don't deny me that pleasure."

Well, OK. Who was I to deny him pleasure? That was so darn erotic, so sexy. I nodded my head. He dropped to his knees and pressed his nose against my exposed clit. He tasted and tested, then licked eagerly. He held my leg up with one hand, while he used his other to tease and touch me. Minutes later, he pushed his tongue inside me, and didn't relent until I yelled out his name over and over, rippling in waves of satisfaction.

"That's what I needed, baby." He whispers to me as he stands up in front of me. He has a hand firmly on my belly to hold me up. I'm about to collapse from the shortness of breath. He begins kissing me again, with desire and need. He still needs me. I feel powerful even though I'm so weak I can barely stand without his assistance.

"Your turn." I say, then brace his biceps, and turn us around so that he's against the wall now. I drop to my knees, and free his manhood from his boxer briefs. It springs out ready for action. I touch it to my tongue lightly as I glance up at him. His face is full of anticipation. He's waiting and wanting more. My Christian Grey wants more. I lick his shaft down to the base, then back up again. I then circle him with my tongue. I wiggle my tongue from left to right as I go down again, then back up. I hear him sigh.

"Oh Ana. You are getting extra credit for this one." He's barely able to speak.

I have him right where I want him. I suck just the tip, and slip my tongue in and out of his opening, then I open my mouth wide and go all the way down on him. He draws in a quick breath. He watches everything with anxious, lustful eyes. I pull my mouth back up slowly, then go back down. Then I remember his words to me. "Fuck my mouth, Christian." I say to him. I'm not exactly sure how to do it, but I know he wants to do it, and I want to give it to him.

He smiles as he breathes even harder. He takes my face and surrounds it with his hands, then he starts pumping into my mouth gently. I relax and let him in as deep as he will go. He begins pumping faster, then he yells out. "Oh Ana."

I suck a while longer, then I pull away from him. I stand up facing him. He's leaning against the wall. He reaches his arms out for me and pulls me close to him. I press my head against his chest, feeling him, smelling him. This is how I want it. I want Christian Grey.

I pull back some so I can talk to him. "Have you found a new sub?" I ask him. Please say no.

"No way. I couldn't think about anyone but you, Ana." He kisses me again, bracing my face between his hands.

"So the position is still open?"

"Ana, you're not qualified for that position."

I pull back. "What?" I feel panic overtaking my body. I've just made love to him, poured my heart and soul into him and he's telling me that he doesn't want me?

"The first quality I look for in a submissive is submissiveness. You are anything but submissive, baby. But I do have another position open." He smiles down at me. "Are you interested?"

I nod my head eagerly. "What position?"

"My girlfriend." He presses his forehead against mine.

My inner goddess does the happy dance, but then she stops and looks at me, questioning me. "What does that position entail?" I ask.

"Are you sure you're not asking what the position does _not_ entail?"

I nod. "Pain?"

"No pain. No spanking. No hitting of any kind. No bondage. Nothing you don't like. I just want you, Ana. Anyway I can get you. I've been through hell these last six weeks. I'd do anything to get you back. I'll even commit to vanilla sex for as long as you'll have me."

I kiss him eagerly. This is a dream come true for me. Christian Grey without all of his fuckedupness. I can do this. "But I kind of liked some of the kinky fuckery."

"You did?" he asks, then puts a finger under my chin, tilting my head up further. "You're always surprising me, Ana."

"I kind of liked it when you tied me up." I give him a wickedly playful smile.

"Now did you?" he plants a kiss on my lips, then pulls away. "So you'd be open to spreader bars, and handcuffs? Maybe some toys?"

"I think so. I'm willing to try, as long as I can use the safe word."

He smiles at me, lovingly. "So you'll be my girlfriend?"

"Absolutely, Christian. I'd love to be your girlfriend."

My inner goddess does a fist pump in the air and then starts doing the happy dance. I'm about to join her.

* * *

Maybe more to come, as soon as I think of the way I want to go with this. Any ideas? Please send them to me. Review for me and let me know what you think.

I also write as Autumn Brown on Siren and Amazon if you're interested in reading my published books. I love writing this fan fiction. I have a website too. It's at AutumBrownBooks.


	3. Shades of Steele Chapter 3

Life is so good for me right now. First and foremost, I'm actually dating Christian Grey. I love my job. I love my friends. My best friend, Kate, has come back from her vacation. All is right with my world right now. Even my inner goddess is smugly satisfied as she sips on her umbrella drink under a palm tree on a beach. Elliot stays over at the apartment more nights than he doesn't. I'm getting used to the lack of privacy there. I spend the night with Christian quite often. He'd love it if I stayed there every night, but a girl needs her own space sometimes.

There is only one thing I'd change about my life right now. That's Jack Hyde. Aside from asking me to do his work constantly, he's too pushy and too full of advice. Also, he's too touchy feely for me. There's only one guy I like touching me that way, and he's out of town on business at the moment. Christian travels quite often. He's has a billion dollar business to run. It amazes me the things he accomplishes in a week.

Since I am now an editor, I get to go to New York to the authors' conference. I'm really excited about going. I texted Christian to tell him about the new development. I mean, he was the one who made the new rule: only editors can attend the conference. Well that includes me now. Ellen called me up to her office to give me the good news just days after Christian asked me to be his girlfriend. It's taken me a week to gather up the nerve to tell Christian about it.

Thirty seconds later, he texts me back. "Yes, I know. I'm going with you."

Oh it figures that he knows exactly what is going on in the office. It's his company after all. And, he has control issues. He likes to have it at all times. We're working on that one. I texted him back. "Sounds like fun." I figure it's better to be happy about it. He'll be coming whether I'm happy about it or not. But I wonder how we're going to handle that. I mean, we haven't told anyone that we're dating. His family knows. Kate knows. Jose knows. I don't want anyone at work knowing. Hell they don't even know that he owns the company yet. The conference is still two weeks away. Anything can happen between now and then. Christian is constantly getting emergency calls that he has to attend to. There's a possibility that he will get called away.

"Hi, Jack." I greet Jack as I pass him in the hallway on the way to my office. I love my office.

"Hi, Ana. I need some help sorting through the slush pile in about twenty minutes." He says.

I hate how he still treats me like his assistant. I'm supposed to be his colleague now, his equal, but he still asks me to get his coffee for him. Sometimes I do it, but only when I'm getting tea for myself. "I'd love to, but I've got a busy day ahead of me. I have a meeting in thirty minutes with Ellen, then another one with an author in an hour."

"Another author?" he asks. "A client?"

He can't hide his interest. Somehow I get a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can't quite explain it. I'm not sure why he's interested.

"Not yet. I'm hoping to sign her today."

"We don't usually fly them in to interview them unless we've interviewed them over the phone first, and then they have to pass the Ellen test." He tells me. Something about the way he tells me though, pisses me off. He's talking down to me. I know I'm still new to this, but I have a brain. I know I can't just send a potential client a plane ticket without getting it cleared with the boss.

"Ellen loved her. That's why we're flying her in." I snapped back at him. I was trying to act chipper about it. It came across more childish than I'd intended. My inner goddess is raises her eyebrows at me. I smile at Jack.

"OK. Just as long as you know how it works. You know you can ask me for advice. I won't bite." He says as he steps closer to me. He's made his way inside my office.

I move to my side of the desk, and sit down so that I'm facing him. I like the idea of a desk between us. "I know where your office is, Jack. I won't hesitate to ask if I ever need your advice."

"Good to know. Do you know if they have any decaf ready for me?" he asks, then turns to leave.

He expects me to get his coffee now? I don't think so. "You'll have to check on that. I haven't passed that way this morning." My inner goddess is high fiving me. Chalk one up for the chicks in the office.

Clara passes me and smiles. She's heard the last part of the conversation, and she's enjoyed the little contest. She knows my plight here. I still don't have an assistant yet. Clara has been helping me when she can. Jack doesn't have an assistant either, so he's been using Clara as well. She's been swamped with Sasha, Jack, and me all using her as our assistant. She must love her job though. She's still here. Clara sits down at her desk.

I busy myself getting ready for my meeting with Ellen. It's a pre-meeting meeting. We going to discuss our guidelines with the author that I'm flying in. Clara is picking her up at the airport and she should be here soon. Ellen and I go over what we're going to offer her and what our thresholds are. We'd like to get this author as cheaply as possible, but we don't want to lose her.

"I loved her book." Ellen beams at me as she holds up her manuscript. "I think she's the modern day Doctor Ruth. Don't you?"

"I do. I think this is exactly what the publishing world needs right now. A racy, no holds barred, sex manual for girls like us."

"Exactly. I like your ideas, Ana. Keep up the good work. Now, let's see if we can land her."

Ellen and I talk for another few minutes until the author shows up. She walks in, impeccably dressed in heels with a matching purse, and a well fitted light blue dress. She has long blonde hair that is loosely curled and hanging down her back. She is showing some cleavage, but she hasn't overdone it. I can't help but think that she dresses like Christian wants me to dress. Hmm. Maybe I could learn a few tips from her.

Clara introduces her. "Ellen and Ana, this is Adrianna Wilkinson. Adrianna, this is Ellen and Ana, the editor that you spoke with on the phone several times."

Ellen stands from behind her desk, and thrusts her hand out to meet Adrianna's. "I'm Ellen. Have a seat, please."

I shake her hand. "It's nice to meet you in person. Your picture doesn't do you justice. We'll have to take another one for your book cover."

"Thanks, that would be great." She said, blushing slightly. I can see that she's not quite the sex goddess that she outlines in her book. But who is?

"So, Adrianna. We'd like to get to know you better. Are you married? Do you have children? Besides your PHD, what experience do you have in the sex field?"

"I'm single. No children. Besides being a sex therapist for a number of years, I have a gritty past." She says with her, "I've got a juicy secret" smile.

"Do tell." I say as I lean closer to her.

"Well, I used to be a submissive for wealthy men on the weekends." She almost whispers.

Oh crap! My mouth suddenly went dry. "Anyone we know?" I ask her quickly. Please don't say Christian Grey.

"I'm not at liberty to say. I've signed nondisclosure agreements, and contracts."

Damn, that sounds so much like Christian. I quickly pull out my Blackberry and text him. I know it's rude, but I have to know.

"Do you know a woman named Adrianna Wilkinson?"

Please say no. Please say no.

He texts me back ten seconds later. "Why do you ask?"

Damn, this is not the time to play games. I need to know and I need to know now. "Please just answer the question. It's important." I text him.

"No, but I've interviewed her. Why are you asking?"

"She's in our office. Did you interview her for a sub position?"

"Yes." The answer came back. Oh shit! I didn't want to hear that. Sooner or later, she'd probably meet Christian if we signed her. Oh damn, but she's blonde. Maybe she wasn't a natural blonde. Christian only hired brunettes. What was I going to do now?

I join back in the conversation that went on without me while I panicked. "Do you have any other offers on the table?" I ask her. Maybe I could weasel my way out by getting outbid.

"I do, but they're not as good as yours. And I really think I'd like to go with your house." She says sweetly, straight to Ellen. She knows who is in charge here. I bet she was a great submissive. "Ana seemed to get right to the heart of my book, and I think she'll promote it and me the way I'd like."

"That's great to hear. Should we talk numbers now?" Ellen asks her.

"I'd love to." She sits with her hands on her knees. She is perfectly poised, still, and in control. Yes, I bet she was a great submissive. I wonder why Christian didn't hire her. Curiosity is about to get the better of me.

"So, this is the number we have in mind." Ellen says to her and places a contract in front of her. "We're open to negotiations, though. This is just a starting point."

"I like the advance." She says quickly, and continues reading. "But I'd like a little more on the percentage. I'm sure that you'll do a super job of promoting the book, so I think I'll make a lot more on the backend."

"We can bump the percentage up another point." Ellen says, then looks at her.

"OK, then. I think I can go with that as soon as you get the contract amended."

I almost laugh. I bet she's used to reading contracts if she deals with men like Christian. I'm surprised that she doesn't start a speech on hard and soft limits. "It was great to meet you, Adrianna. I'm looking forward to working with you."

Ellen stands again. "We'll have Lisa revise the contract and print out a new one and bring it right in." Ellen buzzes her intercom. "Lisa, can you come in here?"

Lisa is in the office in thirty seconds. "Yes, ma'am?"

Ellen hands her the contract and points to the red marks. "Type this up and let's get Ms. Wilkinson to sign this."

"Absolutely." Lisa takes the papers and leaves.

"So, do you have a hotel room already?" I ask her.

"I do. I'm meeting an old friend. I used to live here about five years ago. That's another reason that I wanted to sign with you. I love seeing my old hometown."

I have to bite my lip to keep from pumping her for information about Christian. I'd never met one of his potential subs before, and it's freaking me out. He told me that he'd had subs. I just didn't quite believe that there were women who would actually submit themselves like that. And, she was a doctor for crying out loud. Why was she serving as anyone's sub? "So, did you like being a submissive?" I ask her. I just can't help myself.

"I did. I learned a lot."

"Is that in the bondage chapter?" I ask her. I didn't want Ellen to know that I knew too much about this stuff.

"Some of it. But I learned a lot of self control by being a submissive. I believe that control over yourself is the key to being happy in all things." She spouts out. She sounds like a guru now.

"But being a submissive is letting someone else control you." I snap back, then add. "Isn't it?

I hope Ellen didn't catch that.

"It is, but you have to control yourself, to allow yourself to be controlled. It doesn't come naturally."

I nod my head. She's damn right it doesn't come naturally. In fact, it doesn't come at all. I don't do submissive.

Lisa walks back in and hands the paper to Adrianna. She looks them over one last time, then signs them. Ellen stands out and thrusts her hand into hers.

"Welcome aboard, Adrianna. I know you'll be very happy here." Ellen says as she shakes her hand.

"I'm sure I've made the right choice." Adrianna says. She looks over at me. "I know you'll be full of ideas to promote the book. Just let me know what you need. I'll be in town for another three days."

"Great. Can I set up a photo shoot for tomorrow? I'd like to get that cover photo taken as soon as possible. And, we need to do a biography on you. We have a girl that does most of them. Could you meet with her over the phone tomorrow as well?"

"Absolutely." Adrianna says. She's eager and very accommodating. Yes, she would have mad a great sub. I'm slightly jealous of her for that.

"Have fun with your friend today, and we'll be in touch about the photo shoot and the biography." I tell her, then walk her to the elevator. "I'll walk you all the way out to the cab. I'm on my way to lunch."

Christian is supposed to pick me up for lunch today. I'm sure he'll be waiting in the car for me downstairs in front of the building. He usually waits in the car for me, and Taylor lets me in. So chances are that he won't run into Adrianna.

"Thank you." Adrianna calls out to Ellen and Lisa as we step into our elevator.

"So, any other big plans while you're here?" I ask her, trying to stir up some safe conversation.

"Dinner with one friend, and drinks with another friend. No big plans." She says.

"Sounds like fun." I say as we step off of the elevator. We walk outside together where Christian's car is waiting for me. Damn, he's outside the car, waiting for me. He looks up to see Adrianna. Their eyes meet, and I can the recognition in her eyes and then his. She immediately looks down. I know from reading the contract that Christian wanted me to sign that she was supposed to do that. Damn.

Christian walks over to us, uninhibited, of course. "Hello, Ms. Wilkens. It's good to see you again." He says as he holds out his hand for her to shake.

She looks up, snapping out of her submissive state. "Hello, Mr. Grey."

"I thought you'd moved to New York?" Christian asks.

"I did. I'm here in town on business." She looks into his eyes with a big smile now. "Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners? Mr. Grey, this is Ana Steele, my editor. I've just signed with her publishing company."

Christian takes that opportunity to grab me by the waist and pull me closer to him. "I know Ana. She's my girlfriend." He says with pride.

"Oh." I watch her face. She's taken back and surprised. "Mr. Grey and I are old colleagues."

"She knows." Christian tells her. "I've told Anastasia everything."

"Oh." She's even more shocked by this. "But she's not a sub?"

I shake my head. "I'm just not cut out that way."

Adrianna smiles at me. "So I guess I should have taken that position when you offered it?" she teased with Christian.

He offered her the position and she didn't take it? Holy crap. I thought she interviewed and he didn't like her and therefore didn't offer her the job. That changed everything. I know knew that he wanted her to be his sub. Damn. This hurt. I felt Christian's arm tighten around my waist. Did he know how much that hurt me? And now I had to work with this lady. A woman that I now know Christian wanted to fuck. My subconscious was pouting with her lip jutted out.

"I found a replacement quick enough." Christian says. Was he being catty with her?

"I don't doubt that. The girls were fighting over who would get to interview with you next."

"That won't happen again. I've found the woman of my dreams right here." Christian says to her as he looks at me. His eyes pierce my soul. I can feel how much he cares for me. I can feel that he wants more. And I can see that he wants the world to know that we're together. I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

"But for how long? Once a dominant, always a dominant. And she doesn't do the submissive role." Adrianna says, then walks off. She hails a cab immediately and steps in.

I turn to look at Christian. "Is that true?" I ask him.

"No." he says firmly. "I need you. I went through hell without you for six weeks. Not one time during that six weeks did I need to dominate another submissive. I only wanted you. Anyway I could get you. Ana, you don't seem to realize that I'm lost without you. I don't think I slept during that six weeks. I don't think I was able to be myself. I've never been happier than when you came back to my office that day, carrying all those roses."

I reach up to kiss him on the lips. "Thanks. Now tell me why she didn't accept your offer."

"She was moving out of town. She wasn't looking for a long term contract. She only wanted to do it for a month, or two at the most. I wanted someone more permanent. And she was finishing up her doctorate's degree and going to start her internship in New York."

"I can't believe you have your choice of so many women, so many willing women, that would be willing to do anything you want them to do, and anything you want to them, and you choose me."

"You're so refreshing, Ana. You don't want me for my money, or my status, or what I can do for you. You want me for me. God only knows why, because I am fifty shades of fucked up."

"But you're my fifty shades." I remind him, then wrap both arms around his waist. I'm careful not to touch his chest as I reach up and kiss him again.

"That I am." He whispers to me, then kisses me again.

* * *

More coming in a few weeks. I'm going on vacation next week. I've got a few loose ends to wrap up. I'm going to do something with Jack, and maybe something further with Adrianna. Thanks for reading. Please review and tell me what you think. I've never done fan fiction before.

I also write as Autumn Brown on Siren Bookstrand and Amazon if you'd like to take a look at my first two published books.


	4. Chapter 4

Shades of Steele:

Christian and I stay at his apartment tonight. He's been out of town for a few days and we've missed each other terribly. I still find it hard to believe that he has missed me. I find it hard to believe that this magnificent specimen of a man even looks my way. He has issues, but he treats me very well. After a great dinner that Mrs. Jones has prepared for us, we make our way to the Red Room of Pain. This room still makes chills run down my back. I'm slightly afraid that Christian will revert back to his dominating ways and chain me to a wall and beat the crap out of me with one of his whips. No matter how many times he brings me in here and treats me with the greatest of care, I don't think I'll ever get over that feeling.

I can't get Adrianna's book out of my mind as Christian and I have sex. I wonder if he likes the positions, the scenarios, and the procedures in her book. I wonder if he misses his dominating ways. I wonder if he misses the S&M sex he used to have with his subs. I suddenly feel inadequate. It's not a new feeling to me, especially where Christian is concerned.

"What is it?" Christian asks as he nibbles on my neck from behind. We're lying on the bed, holding each other. His front is to my back. We're enjoying each other before our next round of sex.

"Nothing." I lie to him.

"I can tell when something's wrong, Anastasia. I know you very well." he calls me on my lie. It's so annoying to live so transparently.

"It's Adrianna, or Dr Wilkinson." I finally answer him.

He flips me over so that I'm facing him. "What about her?"

"You wanted her." I state plainly looking him in the eyes.

"I wanted to have a BDSM relationship with her. I didn't want her. You're the only one I've ever wanted, Ana."

I can see the difference now. To him, this is a big difference. And it puts me in a club all by myself. No other girl has ever attained this position. No one else has ever become Christian's girlfriend. I kiss him and wrap my hands around his neck. I have to be careful not to touch his chest. That's a hard limit for him.

"So there's nothing in her book that you miss?" I ask him.

"I haven't read her book. Why don't you ask me about something specific? I won't lie to you, Ana."

"I know that." I admit to him. In fact, sometimes he's too honest with me. Sometimes I discover things I wish I hadn't. Like how many women have been in this bed before me, and in this room, and in his apartment. "But I wonder if you miss certain things about your old lifestyle that you're not telling me about, because you know I won't like them."

"Ana, I don't want to do anything that's going to scare you away. I've proven that I'd rather have you than my old lifestyle." He looks directly in my eyes and holds my face between his hands. He plants a kiss on my lips. The kiss grows into one of need and lust as our breathing pace increases.

I pull away from his lips. "So do you miss that lifestyle?" I ask. He's not playing fair, and he's not answering the question directly.

"No." he says firmly.

"Then why is this room still here? And, why are the whips and canes still on the wall?" I ask him.

He gives me a puzzled look. "I thought you liked having sex in here."

"I do." I concede. "But I'd be lying if I told you that this room doesn't scare the holy hell out of me still."

"Consider it gone then." He snaps out. He's always a problem solver.

"No. I don't want you to get rid of it. It's just that…"

"Tell me what you want, Ana. And, be honest with me." he taps my nose with his finger.

"The paddles and the canes scare me, and the whips." I finally concede.

"So you won't even give them a try?" he asks.

What? I thought we'd been through this. I gasp. "I thought we discussed this. No more spanking of any kind."

"But there are other things I can do with those, if you'll give me a chance." He says with a wickedly sinful smile. He runs his finger down to my breasts slowly, and then circles a nipple slowly and deliciously. I feel my blood start to stir in my belly.

"There is?" I ask him. Hmm. My curiosity is peaked, and my inner goddess has woken from her nap to hear this.

"Shall I show you, Ana?" he asks. He already knows the answer to his question. He knows I'm eager to learn new ways to have sex, and new ways to please him.

I nod eagerly. He steps out of the bed and stands next to it.

"Do you trust me?" he asks.

I nod. "Of course I do." I sit up in the bed and face him.

"Then lie down and give me your hand." he says gently. He's waiting for me to show him that I trust him.

I lie down and give him my left hand. He smiles at me, and then wraps my wrist in a wide ribbon. He then runs that ribbon through the headboard, and ties my other wrist. I give him a look telling him that I'm getting a little anxious.

"You trust me. Remember?" he asks softly, and then runs his hand down my arm to my breast. He teases a nipple until it hardens, then he slowly trails his finger to the other nipple.

"I trust you." I tell him. Damn, I'm already finding it difficult to breathe. He has such an unfair advantage when it comes to sex. I pull my knees together to relieve some of the pressure that is building between my legs.

He shakes his head from side to side, as if telling me, "no". He walks to the foot of the bed, and wraps an ankle in another ribbon. He smiles, and then ties it to the post at the foot of the bed. He does the same to my other ankle. I'm tied up, spread eagle. This isn't the first time I've consented to this but it is the first time in the playroom. I'm not completely sure I want to do this. Isn't this like asking an alcoholic to manage a liquor store? He leans over and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. "Be right back. Don't go anywhere." He jokes with me.

"I'll just wait right here." I joke with him. My inner goddess is wide eyed, and starting to bite her fingernails. We both watch nervously as he walks to the wall and returns with a cane. Oh my. I'm scared, but not in a bad way. I'm getting slightly queasy in the way that I get when I'm about to step onto a roller coaster. I have butterflies in my stomach.

He holds the cane over my chest, and then places it on my stomach. He slides it along my stomach all the way down one leg, very slowly. It's a light touch and feels somewhat like a massage. He slides it up that same leg, then down the other leg. He slides it up that leg, slowly. He runs it up to my stomach again, and then starts to make circles with it, working his way up to my breasts. He kneads my left breast with it. It's firm enough to feel good, but not hard enough to hurt. "Is this OK, Ana?"

I nod. "It feels good."

He kneads my right breast. It feels really good to be touched firmly. Then he starts rocking it back and forth, like a see-saw with his hand as the fulcrum. He works his way up and down my stomach using the see-saw motions. He taps me with the cane. It doesn't hurt at all. It makes all of my muscles tighten in anticipation of where he'll tap me next. I'm anxious for him as he taps it down to my pubic hair. He pulls it up just in time not to touch me there. I watch as he puts the cane on the bottom of my foot and rolls it around. It tickles, so I jerk my foot up only to be restrained by the ribbon.

He smiles at me, devilishly, and then tickles the other foot with the cane. He outlines my left leg barely touching it with the cane, all the way up to my sex, and then he outlines my right leg all way down. He doesn't miss a beat. I'm all nerve endings as he barely touches me everywhere with the cane. Then he brings it to my mouth. "Suck." He says to me in a tone that tells exactly what he wants.

I stick my tongue out, and dart my tongue across the end of the cane several times. He smiles at me, and then inserts the end of the cane into my mouth. I circle it with my tongue, and then suck on it for a few seconds. I release it and wonder what he's going to do with it now. My inner goddess is on the edge of her seat again, panting louder than I am.

I watch as he twists the tip of the cane against my sex. I breathe erratically, trying to inhale air but not succeeding. I build and build while he twists and turns and brings me higher than I've ever been, then I crash and scream out his name. While I'm gathering my thoughts, he unties my feet and is on top of me in an instant. He enters me with firmness. My hands are still tied to the bed.

"You liked that." He states, his face above mine.

I still can't speak. I can't find the strength. I am completely spent. I nod to him slowly. I loved that. How can I put it into words that I completely loved that? He seems to know exactly what I need even before I do. He is so intuitive to my needs. I love that.

I wrap my legs around him until he finds his release, slamming into me with one final thrust.

"So how do you like canes now?" he asks me.

"I think I'd like more of that." I tease with him.

"You're a greedy little madam, aren't you?" he teases me with a kiss to the lips. He untangles himself from me and unties my hands. "I have a lot more where that came from."

"Hello, Adrianna." I say as I answer my desk phone. I've been waiting on her return phone call for an hour or so.

"Hello, Ana. I'm sorry I didn't get right back with you. I was on a hike with a friend. What can I do for you?" she asks cheerfully.

I'm glad she's in a good mood. I try not to think about our last conversation too much. "I was hoping we could set up a photo shoot for this afternoon, if that's convenient for you."

"Absolutely." She says with excitement.

"I was hoping we could shoot a few pictures for the cover as well as your bio picture."

"Sure. What did you have in mind?" she asks.

I take a deep breath. I'm not sure how this will go over. This is my first cover that will hit the stands and I want it to blaze a trail. "I have a wild idea for the cover, if you're up for it."

"I'm up for it. What did you have in mind?" she asks.

"Let me know if you hate it. I have a tamer idea if you don't like it."

"What is it?" she asks, eager to hear my idea.

"You, in lingerie, holding a whip and handcuffs. If you're uncomfortable doing that, we can get a model and crop her head off. It will still get the attention without a head. But you'll get the attention if we put your picture on the cover. What do you think?" I say, and then hold my breath.

"I love it, Ana. That's going to turn the publishing world on its ear."

"Well, I figure when you're a hot doctor, you should use all of your assets. Not just your brains." I tease.

"I like the way you think, Ana. We'll have to go shopping for a few things. I didn't bring my whip or cuffs." She teases. At least I think she's teasing. Maybe she's not.

"Do you know where to buy everything we need?" I ask her. Surely she's been shopping for these things before.

"I know a few places." She assures me.

"Also, bring a cute suit. We can give you the whip and cuffs, in case we need a milder version for some bookstores."

"OK. Can you meet me at Cupids? It's on tenth and Main."

"Say about one o'clock?" I ask her as I check my Outlook schedule on my computer. I find that I'm clear all afternoon except for our photo shoot.

"Perfect." She answers. "See you there."

I hang up the phone and call the photographer that we have lined up. I wish that I could have used Jose, but he turned me down. He didn't feel comfortable doing portraits, let alone risqué portraits. I argued that he did a great job shooting Christian for the school paper though. We also have a hotel suite lined up for the photo shoot. It should be perfect.

I don't have time to do lunch properly so I grab a sandwich from the machine and eat it at my desk. I have so many details to go over concerning the shoot this afternoon. Everything is set. I walk out and hail a cab to tenth and Main. I walk inside the lingerie store. It's not much worse than a Victoria's Secret as first glance. But as I gaze past the front, I see more items that are a little more risqué. Of course, it's nothing I haven't seen in the Red Room of Pain.

I browse at the selection of garters, thinking that's what I'd like Adrianna to wear. Someone taps me on the shoulder. "Hello, Ana." I hear Adrianna's voice say.

I turn around quickly. "Hi, Adrianna. I wasn't sure where to start."

"This is cute, but I was thinking more of a one piece. It leaves more to the imagination, which is one of my tips." She says with a smile.

"I'll let you choose. I'm not exactly adept at buying lingerie. I buy mine at Target." I laugh.

"And, Christian lets you get away with that?" she asks, as she sorts through a rack looking for her size.

"Yes." I answer quickly. I try to think up a quick witty comeback, but my inner goddess has taken an afternoon break apparently.

"Well, I'd bet he'd really like something like this." she says, as she holds up a leather bodice with a zipper down the front. She smiles a devilish smile.

"That's a little too S&M for me. I don't want to give him any ideas." I say to her.

"Oh, he invented it, from what I hear." She teases me.

"But confidence is one of your tips. I wouldn't feel confident in that." I tell her. "Besides, we're here to buy you something for the photo shoot."

She smiles, and then grabs a one piece red teddy that resembles a corset. It's covered in lace and black bows. "A negligee, a robe, a garter, and some heels should be perfect for this." she says then walks toward the back of the store. "And, a triple braided whip, along with some bronze handcuffs."

She grabs a whip from the shelf, and some handcuffs. She knows exactly what she wants. We make our way to the shoe section. She chooses some very expensive black four inch heels. They're gorgeous, but not worth the money. She chooses a garter, and a black negligee that hits below her knees.

When we go to the counter to pay, I put it all on the company charge card that I've been issued especially for the shoot. The total comes up to almost six hundred dollars, but I don't scoff or act surprised. "Is that all?" I ask her.

"This should do it." she says, and then we collect our bags and walk outside. We hail a cab and get one almost immediately. She seems to be the type of girl that never has trouble getting a cab.

"The Renaissance Hotel, please." I tell the cabbie. "We're at the Renaissance. We've reserved the Presidential suite for the afternoon." I tell Adrianna.

She looks impressed. "Nice."

I'm not sure how impressed she could be, since she's a doctor and she used to sub for wealthy men, like Christian. "So, are you ready for this?" I ask her.

"Absolutely." She says with enthusiasm. "I knew you were the girl for the job before I knew about Christian. But now that I know you've landed Christian Grey, I know there's a lot more to you than meets the eye, Ana."

"What do you mean?" I ask her.

"You've tamed the monster. You've captured him. No one else has even turned Christian Grey's head, other than to become a sub."

"It was just luck." I tell her.

"No, there's no such thing as luck when it comes to Christian Grey. You must be a very special girl to have landed him."

"We're keeping our relationship on the down low. So if you don't mind, don't mention it to anyone else."

"Why would you do that?" she asks me. "I'd be announcing it to the world. Or is it him that doesn't want the world to know?"

"He's just a private guy. We know it'll come out sooner or later, but we're enjoying our anonymity right now."

"I see." She says. But I can see that she doesn't understand. I can't tell her that we're not announcing it to the world, because he's buying SIP and he doesn't want it to look like he's giving favoritism just because we're dating. I promised Christian that I wouldn't tell anyone about that.

We get to the Renaissance hotel in record time, for which I'm grateful. We walk up to the suite, and open the door. The photographer is ready to go. He has his lights and umbrella set up. His camera is aiming at the balcony window. "Adrianna, this is Michael, our photographer. Michael, this Adrianna, our author."

They exchange greetings then I direct Adrianna to the bathroom where she can change. We wait for ten minutes for her to come out. When she steps out, she does it in complete confidence. She's wearing the teddy with cleavage showing, and her long legs look great in the garter and stockings.

"That's what I was going for." I tell her.

"Should we get the whip and the cuffs?" she asks me.

"Of course." I say, and then dig through our bags to find them. I hand her the whip and the cuffs. She immediately poses with them next to the window.

The photographer begins directing her, telling her where to stand, and how to stand. They get a few action shots of her using the whip. She's very good at it. She holds the cuffs up in a few shots.

I tell the photographer that we need to get a few more shots of her in the suit as well. Adrianna steps into the bathroom to change.

"This is the most risqué cover I've ever shot for SIP." Michael says.

"That's why we're shooting the ones with the suit, just in case my bosses don't go for these." I inform him. I'm really hoping that Ellen won't shut me down.

"Oh." Michael says. "I understand now."

Adrianna comes out in the suit she's brought herself. It's sexy too. I hope it's not too low cut for Ellen. She poses with the whip and cuffs again. They're really cute shots, too.

"All done." Michael announces.

"Great." Adrianna says, and then steps back into the bathroom.

"Thanks so much, Michael." I tell the photographer as I help him pack up his supplies.

I text Christian and ask him to pick me up at the Renaissance instead of SIP. I receive a quick reply text of "OK".

Adrianna comes out of the bathroom wearing jeans and the heels that we've purchased. "I assume I get to keep the clothes." She says with a smile.

"Of course." I say to her. I'm not sure if we usually do that or not, but I can claim ignorance if we don't usually do it. "Keep the whip and handcuffs too."

"Thanks, Ana." She says as she puts everything in her bag.

"Michael, can you send those photos to me through my private email account?" I ask.

"Of course." He says, then hands me his phone. "Just type it in for me."

I type in my personal email account. "I don't want anyone seeing these until we're ready. So give us a few choices."

"I'll see them before they hit the stand. Right?" Adrianna asks me.

"You bet." I tell her. "I want you to be comfortable with the picture, and we'll choose a headshot for your bio."

"Thanks, Ana." She says, and then walks toward the door.

She opens the door, to find Christian on the other side. He's shocked to see her. She's shocked to see him. I'm shocked to see him. "Hi, Christian." I say immediately.

"Hello, Christian." Adrianna says to him.

"Hello, Adrianna. It's nice to see you again."

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd wait downstairs for me." I intrude.

"When you said to meet you at the hotel, I assumed…" he stops, then smiles at me. "I didn't know you were doing a photo shoot today."

"Oh, did I forget to tell you that?" I ask.

"And, wait until you see the photos." Adrianna says in her best scandalous voice.

"Oh?" Christian asks.

I laugh. "We're going for shock value with this one." I say.

Christian smiles at me. "I'm not easily shocked."

"You've got a point there." Adrianna teases, and then walks out. "Call me if you need to do any retakes, or have anything else for me, Ana."

"Thanks, Adrianna." I say to her as she leaves.

Michael is finishing up with his packing and stands in front of Christian. "I'm Christian." Christian says to him and sticks out his hand to shake.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Michael, this is Christian. And Christian, this is Michael, our house photographer."

"I've seen your work. It's very impressive." Christian says.

"Thanks." Michael says humbly. "I'm going to go. I'll email those pictures to you when they're ready, Ana. It was nice meeting you, Christian."

"You too." Christian says.

Michael leaves. Christian and I are alone in the room. He's glaring at me. I'm lost. Why is he upset? "What?" I demand.

"You text me, telling me you're at a hotel?" he asks, as if I've committed a felony.

What the hell? "And?" I urge him.

He takes a deep breath as if to calm himself down. "That was enough to give me a heart attack."

"A hotel?" I ask, and then it dawns on me. He somehow thought I was here with another man. "Did you think I was with someone else?"

He looks out the window. Suddenly he looks very vulnerable to me. The man who could have any woman in the world is worried that I'm stepping out on him. It dawns on me that he actually loves me, that he is vulnerable, and he wants "more".

I step over to him and wrap my arms around his waist. I press my head against my chest. It's the only way I can touch his chest. "Christian Grey. I'm in love with you." I say quickly, trying to let him know that it's silly to think that I'd be with someone else.

He gasps. "Ana. No. You can't fall in love with me." he says with a tone that tells me that I've crossed some arbitrary line.

I'm floored. What the hell? I thought we were headed in the right direction. The direction of "more". What have I done? I've committed the cardinal sin. In Adrianna's book, she wrote that a girl should never tell the guy she loves him before he tells her. Kate has always stuck by that rule. How do you undo that? How do you un-feel that? How do you un-love someone? I release him and turn around. I leave him standing there as I walk out the door, letting it close behind me.

He makes no effort to follow me.

* * *

That's it for this chapter. Don't worry. It doesn't end here. I'm thinking the next chapter is Christian coming out of the closet about being the owner of SIP. And the authors' convention in New York. That one is going to have a few sparks.

If you'd like to read my published books, I'm at Siren, writing as Autumn Brown, and on Amazon, also writing as Autumn Brown.

Please review this chapter and let me know how you like it.

Thanks so much for reading my fan fiction. And a big thank you to those of you who review it.


	5. Shades of Steele Chapter 5

I sit at my desk looking over the photos of Adrianna. I've picked out the three that I like best. I forward them to the graphic artist asking her to design the book cover for me as soon as possible. I also forward the photos to Adrianna.

The phone rings two minutes later. It's Adrianna.

"Hello, Adrianna. Did you like the pictures?" I ask her cheerfully.

"I do. All of them. I just wanted to tell you that I think you're doing a great job. I don't think any other doctor has done this before, and I'm proud to be the first."

"You're right. We're blazing new territory here, or I'm trying to. I haven't shown the cover to Ellen yet. We'll see what she thinks. We might have to go for the tamer cover if she vetoes it."

"I like that one, too. But I'd love it if we went with the racier photo."

"Me too. Is there anything else that you needed?" I ask her.

"I just wanted to see where we were."

"The cover is being designed as we speak. It should be ready in a day or two. I'll show it to you as well. All the edits are finished. Thanks for being so receptive to all the changes. Our first copies should hit the bookstores in about four months. We'll have your website and book blog up and running in a month or so. That should help promote it. And hopefully it will grow from there. We'll see where it takes us."

"Great." Adrianna says. "Thanks for the update. Call if you need anything else from me."

"I will. Thanks, Adrianna." I say goodbye to her.

I schedule a meeting with the web designers and programmers at two so we can start on Adrianna's blog and website. I want to start promoting her now so we can get a head start on publicity.

I'm doing everything I can to stay busy to avoid thinking about Christian. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday, after telling him that I loved him. I feel so awful that I upset him so badly. I guess running out wasn't the wisest move, but I couldn't face him any longer, knowing how he felt. I'm not exactly sure what our relationship status is at the moment. I've never had a boyfriend before, so I don't really know the exact protocol for handling this situation.

My phone rings again. I see from the caller ID that it's Michael, the photographer from yesterday's shoot. "Hi Michael." I say as I pick up the phone.

"Ana, I need to warn you about something." He says immediately. His voice is racing. Against what, I don't know. It sounds important.

"Warn me?" I ask him.

"Yes, I accidentally sent your photos to Ellen. She asked for another book's photos and I confused the images. I'm sorry." He says.

"Oh no. Thanks for the heads up. Did you send them all to her?"

"I did. I'm sorry. I'm not used to hiding photos from her."

"I'll figure it out." I tell him. Damn the luck. I wanted to yell at Michael, but that wouldn't make for a good future relationship. "I've got some thinking to do, Michael. Thanks."

"Sorry." He says weakly again, and then hangs up with me.

Oh damn! My inner goddess throws her hands up in the air. She's abandoning me in my time of need. I call the graphic artist. She tells me that she has the first cover almost finished. I ask her to send me the rough draft. She emails it to me immediately, so I print it off. I love it except Adrianna's name is spelled wrong. I email the graphic artist immediately, and she corrects her mistake and sends me another one. I print it off to take with me to Ellen's office when she calls. Should I just go on up? Or should I wait for her to call me?

Jack saunters by my office, peeking in to see me. He smiles, and then backs up to chat. I hate it when he stops to chat. I have an uneasy feeling when he's around. I can't quite place my finger on it though.

"Hi, Ana."

"Hi, Jack. Are you doing OK today?"

"Great. How about you? Are you ready for our trip to New York?" he asks.

Oh great. I'd forgotten about our trip to New York this Friday. "I'm ready." I tell him. Hell, all I have to do is throw some things in a bag then catch a cab to the airport.

"I can't wait to show you the sights." He says excitedly.

Oh damn. I'd better nip this one in the bud. "That would be nice, but I'm meeting friends there. So all of my free time will be spent with them. I'm sorry, Jack." I say in the sweetest voice I can fake at the moment.

"Oh." He says, as if his feelings are hurt. "Maybe next time, then."

I smile. I don't want to make any promises about next time. He might remember them, and call me on them later. Jack walks away.

My phone rings, startling me. It's Ellen. I take a deep breath, and pick up the phone. "Hello, Ellen." I say.

"Ana, can you come up to my office immediately?" she asks. I can tell it's not a question. It wouldn't matter what I was doing at the moment. She would still expect me to drop everything and be right up.

"I'm on my way." I tell her. I grab the cover, and dart to the stairs. I'm too anxious and nervous to wait on the elevator.

I enter Ellen's office without knocking. "Hi, Ellen." I say cheerfully. I can tell it's fake. I hope she can't.

Ellen gives me a look of disappointment. I sit down across from her desk, but keep the cover in my lap.

"Ana, this picture cannot go on our cover." She holds up the picture of Adrianna in lingerie holding a whip and cuffs.

"Ellen. We love that picture. See how it conveys to the cover, and there's no question what this book is about." I tell her as I put the cover print on her desk. "This is a rough draft, but I'd buy that book."

"Ana, we're pushing it expecting the public to be ready for a book on BDSM in the first place. If we throw a picture like this on the cover too, we could be risking a massive boycott from our more conservative readers."

"I know it'll cause people to stand up and take notice, but we want publicity. Someone once told me that there's no such thing as bad publicity. Even if we get boycotted, we'll get noticed, and we'll sell books. I think the public is ready for a good BDSM book that is tastefully written to promote good sexual relationships. And readers have a right to read whatever they choose."

"Ana, SIP is not ready for a cover like this. We'll be going with this one." She holds up the picture of Adrianna in a suit holding cuffs only. "And this one is a bit risqué if I do say so, myself."

I could tell by her tone that she was pulling rank on me. "Yes, Ma'am." I say, and then step up to leave. I grab the cover printout from her desk.

"But you're a forward thinker, Ana. We like that at SIP." She says as I walk toward the door.

"Thanks, Ellen." I say then shut the door behind me.

As I wait on the elevator, I think about the cover. It upsets me that we can't go with the one that I chose. The other editors choose their own covers. Of course, Ellen has veto power over them too. But I don't think she's used it even once. I'm feeling a little bit jaded. The elevator door opens and I freeze. It's Christian. He's wearing a grey suit and a white linen shirt, with a dark grey tie. He's looks so typically Christian. He's about to step off the elevator but I'm blocking his way. I step aside to allow him some room.

"Christian." I say softly to him. I'm breathless, as usual. Christian has the affect on me. Hell, he has that affect on all women.

He looks at me and smiles faintly. I can see the pain in his eyes though he's trying to mask it. For me? Or for the audience standing next to Ellen's desk? Dora and two other women have stopped talking and are looking his way. "Ana. I have a meeting with Ellen. I didn't mean to intrude."

"Intrude?" I ask him. What's he talking about?

"You obviously wanted to be alone, away from me, away from us." He stands in front of me. I can tell that he's hoping for some kind of explanation from me.

I shake my head. "I just couldn't…" What was I going to say? Honesty above all else. That's always best. "I don't want things to end between us."

I see relief wash over his face. "That's not going to happen. Not on my watch."

I smile at him. I want to launch myself at him, but there are three women watching his every move at the moment. "I still love you. I can't take that back."

"Can we talk over dinner tonight?" he asks in a low whisper.

I nod my head eagerly. "Absolutely." I say, and then start to turn away from him.

He grabs my hand. I think he's going to hold it in public, but then I feel him take the picture from my hand. Oh no. He looks at it with surprise. "Nice cover."

I smile. "I thought so, but Ellen didn't."

He smiles at me. I know the wheels are turning in his head.

"Don't interfere in my career, Grey." I warn him.

"I wouldn't dream of it." He says, then hands me back the printout.

"Pick me up here at six?" I ask him.

"It would be my pleasure, Ana."

I turn and walk toward the elevator again, as Christian walks into Ellen's office. Dora and the other two girls watch him walk in. Yes, look all you want, girls. He's mine.

At my office, I gather up all my notes for Adrianna's website. I work through lunch again, opting for a sandwich at my desk. This is becoming a habit. I search for similar books on the internet and don't find anything exactly like Adrianna's book online. This is a good thing. As I'm deep in my thoughts, my phone rings. It's Ellen. Oh no.

"Hello, Ellen." I say. I'm wondering why she's calling.

"Ana, we're going to go with your first cover idea. Keep the second one for the more conservative bookstores, but we're going with the first one for the first printing."

Yes! My inner goddess does the happy dance. Somehow Ellen has changed her mind to my way of thinking. Oh no. Did Christian bully her into this? I will use his canes on him if he has. Oh wait, he'd probably like that. "Why did you change your mind?" I'm leery as I ask.

"Our new boss has given us orders to think outside the box. Get some fresh blood on these pages, and get noticed. We're going to give him what he wants. Just wait until he sees this." Ellen says as if she's teaching him a lesson.

I think about it for a second. Yes, that was probably Christian's plan all along. He was going to make her think it was her idea in the first place. Damn, he's good. I'll do well to remember this lesson. "Great. I'll tell the graphic designer to continue working on it then."

"Way to go, Ana." Ellen says, and then she hangs up. It's a totally different tune that she was singing an hour ago. I'm not sure if I should be mad at Christian or not. I decide to wait and think about it later.

I gather everything for the web designers and walk upstairs at two o'clock. They're way more than accommodating as I try to explain exactly what I want. They're eager to start on the new website. They ask me twice if I have management's approval on the cover page. I assure them again that I do. They're a little shocked to hear it.

It's after five thirty when I finally make it back to my own office. When I walk in, I find Jack rifling through my desk drawers. What the hell? "Can I help you find something, Jack?" I ask him abruptly.

He looks up suddenly, startled at my voice. "Oh, Ana! I was looking for the brochure for the conference this weekend. I lost mine."

OK. That almost sounds like a legitimate excuse, but I still get a funny feeling all over when I see his face. He looks guilty, like he's just been busted. "Clara kept my copy, so I wouldn't lose it."

"Oh. No wonder I couldn't find it." He says easily. "You're working late."

He's being nosy again. It pisses me off.

"I do that sometimes." I tell him, and then grab my purse from my bottom desk drawer. I have to resist the urge to go through it to see if anything is missing. "Have a nice night, Jack."

"Wait. Let me walk you out." He says, and then steps behind me as I walk down toward the elevator.

"You don't have to do that." I assure him.

My words don't deter him. He's not accustomed to taking hints apparently. He rides down to the first floor with me and walks outside the building. Christian's car is waiting for me. I assume that he's sent Taylor to collect me, since he's early. Then, I see Christian stepping out of the back seat. He walks over to me. I can tell right away that he's in his territorial mode, another of his fifty shades. He wraps his arm around my waist and kisses me on the lips. He's marking his territory for Jack's sake.

"Hello, Anastasia." He says smoothly.

I giggle at him and wrap my arms around his waist.

"Hello, Jack." Christian says to Jack in a tone that is sure to tell Jack exactly what the pecking order is around here.

"Hello, Mr. Grey." Jack says icily. I can tell there's no love here. "See you tomorrow, Ana." Jack says to me, and then pats me on the arm. He walks across the street to the parking lot.

"Hmm." Christian says after he's out of sight. He's deep in thought.

"Oh, Christian. Do you realize what you've just done?" I ask him.

"Of course. I told Jack to back off and that you're mine." He says easily as he leads me to the back seat of the car. We step inside. Taylor is ready at the wheel waiting for Christian's orders. "To the restaurant, Taylor."

"Yes, sir." Taylor says, then pulls into traffic.

"Yes, and you told him that we're dating. It'll be all over the office by tomorrow morning."

"I guess I did." he says easily and gives me one of his boyish smirks. He pulls me into his arms.

I press my head against his chest. He smells of cologne and Christian Grey. I'll never tire of that scent. "So we're not keeping it quiet any longer?" I ask him.

"No we're not. You said you loved me. Doesn't that mean that you're ready?" He stares down at me. Mr. Mercurial is back with a vengeance.

I nod to him. "I'm ready." I launch myself at his lips, holding his face between my hands. I push my tongue inside his mouth and kiss him hard. Our tongues tangle together for a few seconds. My heart begins racing faster.

He presses my back against the seat. His kiss grows more demanding. I moan softly, automatically. We're two people that need other, desperately. He braces the back of my neck with his hands. My fists are clenching his hair. My insides are on fire. I want this man, and I want him now. This is so hot. He takes one of my hands and places it on his erection. "I'm ready too." He whispers to me.

I gasp and flex my fingers around him through his pants. Oh my. This is heavenly. My stomach feels deliciously warm. I can feel my pulse down there. I want him so badly, then suddenly I remember that we're in the back of his car, which means that Taylor is in the front, and he's hearing and probably seeing everything. Not good. My subconscious is rolling her eyes at me. How could I have been so stupid? And why is Christian simply leading me down this path? I pull away from him and take a deep breath.

"Too bad we have to eat first, and talk." I say to him with a quirk.

He leans back against the seat and lets out a breath, frustrated that we're stopping. "We'll need our energy for tonight. You are staying with me tonight. Right?"

I run my finger from his lips down his neck. I stop there, as always. "Yes I'm staying tonight. Thanks for understanding everything, Christian."

"Ana, I don't know if I'm everything you need, but I'm giving you everything I have right now. As much as I have to give." He says seriously.

"I am a greedy girl. I'll take everything." I say with a smile, and then plant a chaste kiss on his lips. "But you have to take all I have to offer right now, too. And my love comes with that."

"I know, Ana. I'm glad you love me, but I don't deserve it. As much as I want you, I don't want you to feel trapped. You deserve so much more than me, but I can't stay away from you." Christian explains.

I can tell that he's tortured by conflicting feelings. He's now running his hands through his hair. He's in angst. I grab his hands and pull them to my chest. "I love you, Christian. You deserve everything. I wouldn't be in love with you if you were an awful person. You're the most charitable person I know, and you're constantly trying to figure out ways to help even more. You're constantly giving."

"Those are penance, Ana." He explains to me.

"They're more than that, Christian. You give food to the needy, so fewer people will have to live like you did as a child. It's empathetic giving. And you treat your employees great. Taylor and Mrs. Jones, and your other security, not to mention the girls at your office, and everyone in your building. Do you think everyone wants to work for you because the money is good?"

"Yes." He says simply. He actually believes this.

"No. Even if the money is great, if the job sucks, people move on as soon as they can. People stay with you for a long time. The longevity at your company is awesome. Taylor has been with you for a while. Mrs. Jones as well. You're a genius, Christian. Why do I have to tell you all of this?"

"Ana, I've done so much wrong, so many terrible things. You have no idea."

"I have ideas, Christian. But I know that it was legal and consensual. You've never done anything to a woman that she didn't sign up for."

He kisses me on the lips. He lingers there. "I'm glad you're still here."

"Me too." I giggle at him and give him a few quick kisses on the lips.

"Why didn't you answer my text? I was worried." He interjects.

"What text?" I ask him. I look for my purse and find it behind me. I open it up and start digging through it.

"I texted you telling you that I would be a few minutes early."

"I left my phone in my purse while I went to a meeting in the programming department. I'm sorry." I say as I dig through my purse deeper now. I can't find my phone. That's odd. Then it hits me. Jack! Why would he take my phone? Oh shit!

That's it for this chapter. I think we can see where this is headed next. Jack!

Please review if you've read. I'd like to know what you think. Also, if you've given constructive criticism in your review, it is very much appreciated. But please let me know how I'm doing pertaining to that criticism. One reviewer said that Christian wasn't well developed. I hope that I've corrected that problem. Thanks so much for taking the time to tell me.

Also, I write as Autumn Brown on Amazon and Siren. Take a look at my published books if you're interested in other genres that I write. Thanks so much.


	6. Shades of Steele Chapter 6

I feel so guilty. I almost lied to Christian when he asked where my phone was last night. I told him that I probably left it in my desk at work. I rationalize that it could have been the truth. I hope it's the truth. I'm hoping that my phone is on my desk, or in my desk, or somewhere near my desk.

Christian kisses me goodbye as he leaves me at the entrance to SIP. He doesn't care who sees us now. He's being arrogant about it now, no longer hiding us from the public. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I don't want Ellen to think that I'm sizing everyone at SIP up for Christian's sake. And I definitely don't want her to treat me any differently than she treats anyone else.

I take the stairs up to my floor, and rush to my office. I look on my desk. No phone. I dig through my drawers on the left and the right. Still no phone. I start to panic. Maybe Jack did take it. Why would he want a phone? He makes enough money to buy his own damn phone. Maybe someone else took it and it's just a coincidence that Jack was in here last night. I open up my top drawer. My phone is sitting there on the top of my sticky notes and paper clips. I almost never use my top middle drawer. I'm sure that I didn't put my phone in here. Now I'm bothered and confused. How did my phone get in here?

I don't have time to dwell on it. I have a meeting with the programming department. I have to approve their blog site for Adrianna before they continue on. Programmers are always like that. You have to praise them on every step before they continue to the next step. I put my phone in my suit jacket pocket. I pledge to myself that I won't lose it again.

On my way up to the programming department, I run into Michael. "Hi, Michael." I say to him.

"Hi, Ana. I heard some pretty racy news about you this morning." He teases me.

"Already. Damn, he's fast." I say. I assume he's talking about my dating status with Christian.

"He who? I was talking about Ellen. She said we're going with your original cover idea. Way to go, girl. You're going to get me a lot of publicity."

"Oh. Yes, she's decided to live on the edge with me." I join in on his teasing. "I'm on my way to work on the website and blog right now. See you, Michael."

He laughs at me. I make my way to the programming department where Cliff and William, the two programmers assigned to my project, are waiting for me. They're excited and they aren't hiding that fact.

"Are you ready to be blown away?" Cliff asks me, holding out a chair for me to sit in. He's giving me the best seat in the house to see their handiwork.

"I am." I say enthusiastically as I sit in front of the computer.

Cliff pushes a button on the keyboard in front of me, and I see a blog come up on the screen. The first page has Adrianna's racy photo, along with her credentials. There are even some blog entries for today.

"Amazing. It's gorgeous. Are these real? Did Adrianna give you these?" I ask them.

"She did. She's anxious to get started." William says, then looks at Cliff.

"We've even got some hits on it, and we haven't even posted it yet. I think she has some friends checking it out already." Cliff says.

"That's a good idea." I say. "Great way to get things brewing."

"We've already submitted to the search engines, but Ellen hasn't given us our budget limit, so we're not sure how much money we can spend on advertising yet."

"I'll get that for you. I'm going to talk to her today sometime. I'll get back with you when I find out. What else do you need from me?" I ask them.

"Can we have some of those other pictures? We'd like to change her picture out every other day. We think that might be why we're already getting hits. She's a pretty lady." Cliff says.

"Yes, she is." William says with vigor, then gives me his "oops" face.

I smile at him. "Why do you think I wanted her on the cover?"

"We haven't had this much fun working on a website or a blog since we started here. You're good for morale, Ana." William says.

I laugh. "I'll put those photos on the network drive for you guys as soon as I get back to my desk." I step up to leave.

"Wait. You have to see her website, or what we've got so far." Cliff says to me.

"OK." I say and sit back down. Cliff takes control of the mouse and demonstrates the website to me. It is absolutely amazing. Cliff and William have programmed in some really cool features and it looks fabulous. It is very professional, and chic too. "This is awesome."

"Yah, we know." William and Cliff say in unison, then laugh at themselves.

I join in on their laughter. "Thanks, you two. You're the greatest." I tell them the words that they love most to hear.

I finally leave the programming department thirty minutes later. I'm happy with where things are going. I love the ad campaign, and the website, and the blog, and the cover. My inner goddess gives me two thumbs up. As I walk by Clara's desk, she yells out to me.

"Hey Ana!"

"Yes, Clara?" I ask her as I stop at the entrance to my office, waiting for her response.

"I found your phone on my desk this morning. I put it in your top drawer." She says.

"I found it. Thanks. I thought I'd lost it forever." I tell her, then walk into my office. Now, how did my phone get on her desk? I know that I didn't put it there. Maybe someone found it and put it on her desk. But why wouldn't they just put it on my desk? I'm no Sherlock Holmes, that's for sure. I resign myself to never figuring out this mystery.

Friday finally arrives. Christian has to back out on me at the last minute. He has some big problems with a shipment in Darfur. He'll fly to New York tomorrow to join me. We'd planned on flying together in his jet. He insists that I take the jet to New York, then it will turn around and come back for him tomorrow. I have to take him up on his offer, because I don't have a commercial airline ticket.

When I arrive in New York at the hotel, I run into Sasha at the registration counter. "Hello, Ana." She says. Sasha is a tall blonde girl about my age. We're colleagues, but I wouldn't exactly call us friends. There seems to be some competition between the editors at SIP. I'd like to think that it's a healthy competition, but sometimes I'm not so sure that it is.

"Hi, Sasha. How's it going so far?" I ask her, more to be polite. Then I turn to the hotel clerk. "Anastasia Steele. I have a reservation."

"Steele…oh yes, Ms. Steele. We've reserved two suites on the top floor for you. I hope they'll be to your liking."

"Two?" I ask, then close my mouth quickly. Christian. Of course, he'd book the nicest rooms in the hotel. He always does. Probably one for us and one for Taylor.

Sasha glances over at me, then looks away quickly toward the clerk who is helping her. "Are you going to be able to help with the booth?" she asks. I detect a snide tone from her.

"That's why I'm here." I answer quickly. "We're hoping to find some new talent."

"I wasn't sure, with your boyfriend being here and all." She says, again snidely.

"He won't be in until tomorrow afternoon. But I'm here to help. Has Jack made it yet?"

"He's here. He's at the bar. He wasn't much help last year. He was too busy getting laid, or trying to. I don't think he had much luck." Sasha says.

From her tone, I gather that she's not fond of Jack. So far, I haven't found a big fan club for him in the company. I won't be its first member either. "Do we start tonight? Or get up early in the morning?" I ask Sasha. Maybe I can prove my dedication to her before the weekend is over.

"Let's start tonight. I'll meet you in the auditorium in thirty minutes. I'll text Jack and tell him to meet us there, too. I don't know if he'll show, but I'll tell him what we've got planned." Sasha says, then picks up her bag and heads to the elevator.

The bellboy picks up my bag, and carries it to the elevator for me. I feel uneasy as Sasha, I, and the bellboy all get on the elevator together. Sasha gives me a smirk as she exits the elevator on her floor. On my floor, the bellboy opens the door to my room and lets me in. He places my bag in the closet, and shows me where the bed is, and the television, and the bar, and the phone. He even points out the view. Then it hits me that he's stalling until I tip him. My inner goddess is snarking at me.

I reach inside my purse.

The bellboy shakes his hand at me. "No, Ms. Steele. It's already been taken care of. And if you need anything, my name is Thomas, just dial zero."

"Thank you, Thomas." I say to him.

He leaves, and I sit on the bed, and change into some jeans. I'm sure that Sasha and I will be carrying boxes of books and other items for our booth. I slide into some comfortable shoes as well. I text Christian. "Thanks for the jet ride, and the room. It's wonderful. Wish you were here with me."

"Me too. You're welcome. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow." He texts me back immediately.

"I love you." I text him.

He doesn't reply. I try not to let it bother me that he hasn't said that he loves me. But it does bother me. I remember, though, that he's given me more than he's given any other woman in his life. That makes me feel better.

It takes me a few minutes to find Sasha in the auditorium. It's beyond huge, and it's got people running everywhere inside. She's setting up the table for SIP. I walk up behind her.

"I'm here." I announce, then grab the other end of the table to help her set it up. "This is amazing. I didn't realize it was so huge."

"I keep forgetting that this is your first one." Sasha says to me. She grabs a table cloth from one of the boxes that she's carried in.

I help her spread the tablecloth. We make a good team. I put our banner on the front skirt of the tablecloth, making sure it's straight. "This is exciting. How are we working out the schedule?"

"We should probably all be here in the morning when it opens. But we can take shifts during lunch, and probably after lunch. Jack will be here to help tomorrow, I'm sure."

Just then, we hear Jack's voice. "I'm here now." He calls to us as he approaches.

Sasha rolls her eyes. "Thanks for showing up." She says snidely to him.

"You're welcome." Jack says in a sweet voice. "Hi, Ana."

"Hello, Jack." I say to him. I pull a box of books from behind the table. "Will these be safe here until tomorrow?" I ask Sasha.

"Everything's safe. They have a few security guards who will stay the night with everything." Jack jumps in and assures me. "You don't have to worry about anything."

"Great." I say, then continue setting up the books and the brochures.

We create quite an elaborate display to showcase SIP for potential authors. It's a lot of fun. Jack, Sasha, and I are chatty and playful all during our work. An hour later, we're finished.

"So, anyone up for drinks at the bar? Or going out somewhere?" Sasha asks the two of us.

I think about it. Since Sasha is asking, I feel a little more comfortable accepting the invitation. "Sure. I'm game."

"Me, too. Will your boyfriend be joining us?" Jack asks me.

"No, he won't be here until tomorrow. He had some business to take care of." I answer. I hate it that Jack is asking personal questions again. It irks me.

"Great. Maybe we can have some fun, then." He says. Something about his tone frightens me a little.

"Let's meet at the hotel bar in an hour, then." Sasha says. "I have to put on something a little sexier than this."

I laugh at her. Maybe going out with Sasha will be a good idea. We've never hung out anywhere outside of work. She hasn't been too friendly at work. I thought maybe she had a problem with me getting the promotion, so I simply let things stay the way they were. "See you there." I say to her, then walk toward the elevators with the two of them.

"So how's your room?" Sasha asks me.

"It's great." I say sheepishly. There's no way I would have gotten this room on my own. I know that. They know that.

"It must be nice to have a rich boyfriend." Jack says, trying to join in on the girl talk.

"It is." I say again sheepishly. I don't want to talk about Christian or his obscene wealth. "Are you two going to go sightseeing tomorrow after the conference is over for the day?"

"I am." Jack says quickly. "If your boyfriend doesn't show up, you can come along with me."

"Thanks." I say quickly.

I can see out of the corner of my eye that Sasha is rolling her eyes again. She's telling me that he asks all the females out, with that look that she's giving me. I smile at her. I know the score there, too.

"There's no telling where I'll end up in a city this size." Sasha says playfully. She seems like the wild and crazy type. I never would have seen this side of her if it hadn't been for this conference.

Sasha steps off on her floor, leaving Jack and me in the elevator alone. He looks me up and down, as if he's going to devour me. He's just that kind of a guy. I wonder if he's ever even heard of the sexual harassment laws. Or maybe he thinks they don't apply when we're at a conference, away from work.

"You know, Ana?" he starts out. "You have me to thank for your job."

"Thanks, Jack." I thank him. It seems to be the easiest and quickest way out of this conversation.

"Oh, you can do better than that." He says, then steps closer to me.

I step further away from him quickly. Is he seriously trying to make a move on me? "I'll send you a fruit bouquet. How's that?" I ask with an attitude. My inner goddess is standing with her arms crossed in front of her, stamping her foot.

"Well, actually, I was thinking something more along the lines of going out with me. Tonight. Alone." He puts his hand on my waist.

There's no where to run in an elevator, but I step away from him so that he's no longer touching me. I catch a whiff of his breath as I do. He's been drinking quite a bit for the smell to still be there after working in the auditorium for an hour. I'm a little worried. "Jack, you're a nice guy and all, but I'm dating someone. It's serious."

Jack laughs. His smirk is condescending. "You think Christian Grey is serious about you?" he asks then laughs again.

"Yes, I do." I say indignantly. How dare he insinuate otherwise.

"Ana, the guy is a billionaire. He has girls like you lined up, waiting for him. He probably has a different girl every other night. That's probably why he isn't here tonight. Gee, Ana. For a smart girl, you're not too bright." Jack laughs again.

"You're wrong, Jack." I say firmly. I'm through being a nice girl. The elevator stops on my floor. I suddenly realize that Jack is still with me. If I'm on the top floor, then he is too, or he's following me to my room. "You didn't press your floor."

"I didn't have to. I'm on this floor too." Jack says then holds the elevator door open for me to step off. As I pass him, he runs his hand down my back and along my ass. "Who can blame him for wanting to hit this?"

"Jack, you've obviously been drinking, so I'll let this little indiscretion slide, but don't touch me again." I put my hand on Jack's chest and push him away from me. I walk down the hall toward my room.

Jack walks right by my side. "Call me when Christian Grey is finished with you. I'm used to his leftovers." He says meanly.

For a second, I'm scared that I'm going to have to get physical with Jack. I stand in front of my door, and wait for him to pass. I don't want to open the door and have him follow me inside. When he's clear, I step inside my suite and double lock the door. I sit on the bed. I feel so relieved to be out of his presence. What the hell was that? He was drunk. He had to be. He didn't seem that drunk, but obviously he was. He wasn't even making sense.

I call Sasha and tell her that I won't be coming out with them. I can't possibly face Jack after that. He needs to sober up before I see him again. I'm sure he'll be at the auditorium tomorrow with an apology. Sasha is upset that I'm not coming. She doesn't want to go out with Jack alone, but she still wants to have some fun. She comes up with the bright idea to ditch him. She's going to call him and tell him that neither of us are coming out tonight, then we'll go out alone. I think it's a great idea.

After I hang up with Sasha, I text Christian again. "Having a great time. Wish you were here."

He doesn't answer for several minutes, and I begin to wonder if Jack is right for a few seconds, but then he calls me. Whew. I'm mad at myself for letting Jack get into my head like that.

"Just how great a time are you having?" Christian asks me.

"I'd be having a better time if you were here." I tell him. "Sasha and I are going out tonight. We're going to have a few drinks and see what kind of trouble we can get into."

"Be careful, Ana. And make sure you eat something. You don't hold your liquor too well on an empty stomach. I don't want you throwing up around Sasha. It makes for poor business relationships." He teases me, but I know he's being his usual controlling self. He's my fifty shades after all.

"We'll eat something too. Don't worry, Christian." I playfully relinquish. "Hey do you know Jack?"

"Jack Hyde, your ex-boss? Yes." He answers immediately, suddenly very business-like. Mr. Mercurial as always.

" No, I mean before he became my boss." I explain.

"No. Why?" he asks curiously.

"Nothing. He must have been drunk."

"What are you talking about, Ana?" he insists.

I wish I hadn't brought it up now. "He said he's used to getting your leftovers."

"My leftovers? Leftover what?" he asks. I can tell his curiosity is peaked, and he's getting impatient with me for not explaining things quickly enough.

"Never mind, Christian. He was just drunk."

"That sorry bastard made a pass at you. Didn't he?" he asks, yelling into the phone.

Holy hell. I've done it now. "He was drunk. It wasn't exactly a pass." I try to downplay it.

"I'll be there in three hours, Ana. I'm hiring security from the hotel to keep an eye on you." He threatens.

I know he's doing it to be cautious, but this is so over the top. It's so typically Christian. And to think, I was doubting that he cared for me a minute ago. "That's overkill, Christian. He's harmless. Really. Don't worry about it. Don't cut your business short. I'll be fine. I'll be with Sasha tonight."

"Ana. I can't let you go out alone, not after this."

"Let me?" I ask him. I'm getting angry. "I'm not a child, Christian. And you can't order me to stay in my room."

"Maybe that was a misuse of the word, Ana. I'll have security there in a few minutes." He apologizes.

"No security, Christian. I don't want a babysitter. I won't stand for it." I lay down the law.

"I'll get there as quickly as I can." He says. "Ana, I'd die if anything happened to you."

I take a deep breath. "That's as close as I'm going to get to a declaration of love. Isn't it?" I ask him.

He gives me a half-hearted laugh. I can tell he's still preoccupied. He's probably on his other phone with Taylor telling him to hire undercover security for me. They'll probably be following us all night long. I'll be so embarrassed if Sasha finds out.

"I'll see you in a while, Ana." Christian says then hangs up.

OK. I've about had my fill of intense men tonight. My head is about to explode and I haven't even had a drink yet. I meet Sasha on the second floor and we take the stairs to the first floor and sneak out the back door. We're pretty proud of ourselves for avoiding Jack. I can feel a connection between us growing. Our united dislike of Jack is bringing us closer together.

"So he grabbed your ass?" Sasha asked me, after she took a drink of her Cosmopolitan. "I can't believe that."

"Me neither. Didn't his last assistant quit because he was too handsy?" I ask her. I'm drinking a strawberry daiquiri and feeling a little more relaxed.

"She did. She never filed charges against him though. She never even filed a complaint with HR. Everyone just kind of knew it. I think the assistant before her quit for the same reason."

"Damn." I say. "So if no one ever complains or files a grievance, he'll never pay for all of these indiscretions. That makes me so mad."

"You can always file a complaint." Sasha suggested. "He put his hand on you."

"I know. But I'm new and I don't want to be the girl who got him fired because he got a little drunk at a conference."

"I know what you mean. Maybe you should sic your boyfriend on him." Sasha has finished one Cosmopolitan and started on her next one. She seems to be getting braver now.

"I may have already done that. He's flying in tonight instead of tomorrow, because I accidentally told him about Jack. I didn't give him all the details though."

"Oh boy. Jack might just get what he deserves then." She laughs. "Just please let me watch."

I laugh at her. "We'd both enjoy that. Wouldn't we?" We clink our glasses together.

"Here's to hoping." Sasha says, still chuckling at our vicious conversation.

An hour later, Sasha and I decide that we've had enough to drink and decide to call it a night. As we're walking to the elevator, Sasha asks if she can come up and see my room. She wants to see how the other half lives, she says.

"Sure." I say. We've had a great night together. I press the button for the top floor and the elevator flies at warp speed to the top floor. "Here we are."

"Wow! I'm feeling kind of dizzy." Sasha says. "That was fast and this is really high."

I think she's joking with me. I lead her to my room, and open the door. I show her everything. I remember my first time seeing a room like this. It was astounding. It still amazes me that I get to stay in rooms like these now that I'm with Christian. We laugh and talk a little while, then Sasha makes her way to the bathroom. She's had too much to drink.

Christian texts my phone. "I'm here early. Be a doll and let me in."

That's weird. He's never called me "doll" before. I type a text back to him, but before I can press the send button, I hear a knock at the door. Holy shit. Is he here already? We must have stayed out later than I thought. Time flies when you're having fun.

I rush to open the door. Holy shit! It's Jack on the other side. He is standing in the doorway, looking extremely pissed, glaring at me.

"Hello, Ana." He says, then barges past me into my room.

"Excuse me, Jack. But I didn't invite you in." I snap at him.

He turns around. I think he's about to leave my room, but he puts his arm around me and pushes the door shut. Oh shit! I'm in trouble now.


	7. Shades of Steele Chapter 7

Shades of Steele

My heart races, then it almost stops beating. I know I'm in trouble but I don't know yet how I'm going to handle this. Do I fight? Do I try to talk to him out of this? What is he even thinking about? What are his intentions here? I'm so confused, and shocked that he is actually putting his hands on me. A million thoughts are racing through my head.

"Jack, what do you think you're doing?" I ask him, then push away from him.

He lets me go. I'm grateful for small miracles. My heart rate slows some. My subconscious warns me that I'm still not out of the woods yet. My inner goddess is hiding under the couch. I wish I could join her.

"I'm giving you exactly what you've been asking for. And I'm paying Christian back for everything he's stolen from me." Jack says hatefully.

I speak calmly to him, hoping he'll follow suit. "Jack. I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't asked you for anything. And, I don't think Christian has stolen anything from you."

"Ana, you've been flaunting yourself in front of me since you started. You used your slinky dresses to get the job, then once you get it, you're not even grateful that I gave it to you. You're a cock tease and a slut. You owe me. You have this job because of me. And you haven't even said thank you."

"I said thank you, Jack. And, I am not a slut." I say firmly, but gently. I slowly inch back a few steps toward the hotel phone. I press the send button on my cell phone. Maybe Christian will at least hurry up if he gets my text. "Christian will be here in a minute, Jack. You can talk with him about your concerns."

"Christian won't be here until tomorrow." Jack says with an evil smile. "That was me that you were texting."

"What?" I ask, confused. Then it hits me. He did steal my phone. "What are you talking about?"

"I synced up your phone. Ghosted it." He holds up a Blackberry that looks exactly like mine. "Right down to the SIM card. I've been texting Christian, and you. Oh the naughty things you've been texting Christian. And the naughty things he's been texting you. I didn't know he was such a kinky bastard."

Oh shit! Jack is completely satisfied with himself. The thoughts sicken me. I wonder what he's told Christian. I wonder if he's coming tonight, or if that was Jack. Did I speak to Christian? Or did I text him? I can't remember which. I back up another few steps toward the hotel phone by the bed. "Jack, I can have you fired for this." I threaten him. Maybe his job holds enough of a threat to stop him.

"You? Get me fired?" he laughs, as if it isn't possible. He obviously thinks he's above the law and untouchable.

"This is sexual harassment, at best, Jack." I explain slowly. I don't dare risk upsetting him, so I don't call him every horrible name that runs through my head. I can tell he's about to explode, but I'm not sure there is any calming him down.

"Sexual harassment? This is you being extremely grateful for your job. That's how I'm going to explain it to HR if you take it that high. You don't have a leg to stand on, Ana. I've been with SIP for years. They won't take your word over mine." Jack laughs again, then walks toward me.

"What if she has a witness?" Sasha yells from behind us. She's at the bathroom door, standing still. I can tell she's ready to run back into the bathroom and lock the door if the situation calls for it.

Oh thank God. I'd completely forgotten about Sasha. Maybe someone else just being in the room will help me out.

Jack turns around and looks at her, taken by surprise. When he turns away from me, I pick up the hotel phone and dial zero. I am shaky and scared to death, and I clumsily drop the phone receiver to the floor. It lands with a dull thud on the carpet below. Jack turns to catch me looking very guilty.

"Don't touch that phone!" he yells to me. He looks like a wild animal caught in a trap. He looks at me, then he looks at Sasha. He's debating on which of us he'd rather tangle with, I think.

"You can't take us both, Jack." I warn him firmly. My inner goddess crawls out from under the couch. I know the phone is off the hook, and I hope like hell that the front desk has answered the call and is listening by now. "Just don't hurt us. Just walk out of this room and leave us alone."

"Oh, this is wrong. This wasn't supposed to happen. This is not fair. Christian wins again. He gets everything. He always gets everything." Jack rants on like a crazy person as he faces me. He rushes toward me, and grabs me using both arms.

I scream. "Help!" I struggle to get out of Jack's arms. I'm pinned tightly and can't move. I twist my body and toss my head back and forth, trying to ratchet my way out of his grip. He's too strong.

I feel Sasha jump on his back. I see her hands reach around and grab his neck tightly. She's trying to pull him off of me. He releases me so he can grab Sasha's hands. He's trying to pry Sasha's hands from his neck. I take my chance and kick him in the stomach hard. He turns around in a circle, trying to throw Sasha off of him. He's swaying back and forth. He looks like he's trying to get away from a swarm of bees. Finally Sasha drops to the floor with a thud, landing on her butt. Jack is facing me. He leaps toward me with both hands extended as if he's going to grab me again. I quickly squat to the floor, then give him a hard fist in the balls. My inner goddess stands up and punches the air a few times, congratulating me.

Jack bends over, and yells out in pain. "Damn!" he yells over and over as he grabs for his groin.

Sasha kicks him in the butt while he's bent over and he falls to the floor, face down. She sits down on top of him. I step on his two hands with my two feet. He can't move. I pick up the phone and yell into it. "Hello?"

"Yes, Ms. Steele. We've got security on the way. Are you OK?" a lady asks me on the other end of the line.

"We're fine, just get here as quickly as you can." I yell. I drop the phone to the bed this time, but don't hang it up.

"Yes!" Sasha yells to me in a congratulatory fashion. She holds up her hand to be high-fived. "Girl power!"

I high five her. We're feeling pretty good about ourselves.

"Get the fuck off of me!" Jack yells. He wiggles and bucks, but he's not going anywhere.

"Trust me. This is the last place I want to be, Jack." Sasha says to him as Jack continues bucking, trying to rid himself of her.

"You bitch! You whore!" Jack says to us, still yelling out in pure anger.

Just then, I hear the door burst open. It must be security. I hold my position on Jack's hands. Then I see Christian and Taylor run into the room. Christian's face fills with relief when he sees me standing. "Oh, Ana!" he hugs me, then steps back to see Jack on the floor. "Hello, Sasha. Good job, you two."

Sasha looks up at Christian. She smiles as her eyes fill with astonishment. She reminds me of a teenager who has just been smiled at by the star quarterback. It's then that I see that her eye is swelling. She steps up off of Jack. I step off of his hands. Christian pulls him to a standing position, then punches him in the face twice. Taylor pulls him away from Christian, then punches him in the stomach hard. Both assaults are so quick that I barely see them.

"Oh, I wish I could have done that." Sasha says to me as she sits on the bed.

Taylor throws Jack against the wall, and starts punching him in the back. I hear painful grunts coming from Jack. I relish in them for a few seconds, but then I start to feel badly for Jack. He's getting the shit beat out of him.

"Stop, Taylor!" I yell to Taylor.

Taylor stops and looks to Christian as if asking for permission.

"Stop." Christian says easily, then grabs Jack's hair, using it to turn his head to where he's facing him. "Jail is going to be too good for you."

"Jail?" Jack asks him in disbelief.

"Yes, jail. Attempted rape, and assault on these two women. Plus we found your blackmail pictures of your last two assistants, not to mention you were doing it on company time. You're fired, Jack."

"You can't fire me." Jack snaps back at him.

Christian pulls on his hair, snapping his head back further. "I own SIP, Jack. We'll ship your personal things to the jail where you'll be incarcerated." Christian is in control. He's totally cool and calm.

Taylor slams a knee into Jack's back, then pulls both of his hands behind him. "We're ready now." He yells out to the hallway.

Two security guards come in. Christian nods at them. "Thanks, guys. We appreciate you letting us handle this."

One of the security guards pulls out a pair of handcuffs and cuffs Jack. "We've got the police on the way. We'll need a statement from everyone in the room."

"You'll be getting one from me, too." Jack yells at them. "I'm pressing charges against the all mighty Christian Grey."

"This way, sir." The security guard pushes Jack out the door, ignoring him.

"Are you OK, Ms. Steele?" Taylor asks me, then reaches out for my face. "Your cheek is cut. And Ms. Mitchell, I think your eye is going to be black."

Christian pulls my face toward him and examines my cheek. "Get a doctor up here, as soon as possible, Taylor. And, get us another room." Christian orders Taylor.

"Thanks, Taylor." I say to him as he leaves the room. "Thanks to you, too, Christian."

"I wish I'd been a few minutes earlier." Christian berates himself. "I could have killed him, then. I'd die if anything happened to you, Ana."

Christian pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly. It makes me feel safe and protected.

"I'm glad you came tonight, instead of tomorrow." I tell him.

"I texted you to tell you I was coming tonight." He kisses me on the forehead.

"Yes, but I didn't know if that was you or Jack." I explain to him.

"Me or Jack?" Christian asks, giving me a funny look. I think he's questioning whether I have a head injury or not.

"Yes, Jack stole my phone the other day and he ghosted my phone or something. And he's been texting me, pretending to be you and texting you pretending to be me." I explain.

"Oh, Ana. You should have said something. He has all of our personal information now."

I know I should have told him. I look down at the floor in shame. As I do, I spot a Blackberry. I pick it up. It's Jack's. "Maybe not." I say, then hand him the phone.

"This is his?" Christian asks.

I nod.

"Is everything OK now?" Sasha asks. "Surely he wouldn't have ghosted an already ghosted phone."

Christian looks at me. "We'll still have to take every precaution as if he copied all of this information down. I can't have him harming you or anyone in our families again."

"I'm sorry." I apologize weakly. I know it's not enough. I press my head against Christian's chest and start to cry.

"It's OK, Ana. It's nothing I haven't had to deal with before. Please don't cry." Christian is running his hand up and down back, trying to soothe me. He knows I'm being irrational, but he doesn't mention that fact. I appreciate it so much.

"We're OK, Ana. That's all that matters. I don't know what Jack intended to do, but I know it wasn't going to be nice." Sasha joins in.

"Thanks, Sasha. I appreciate all of your help, tonight. I'll be taking Ana home tomorrow morning." Christian says firmly to her as he holds me closely.

"It's OK. I can handle the booth." Sasha says immediately. I feel like she's sucking up to the new boss.

"No, I'm staying. I can finish this." I tell Christian firmly. I'm standing my ground on this one. I know I can be stubborn when I want to be.

"Ana, you were assaulted. You're going to have stitches on your cheek, and Sasha is going to have a black eye. What kind of message is that for SIP to be sending to potential authors?"

"That we're fighters." Sasha says with a smile, then snaps her mouth shut. She's not sure if she's spoken out of turn or not.

"Yes, that we'll fight for what matters to us." I say, drying my tears and pulling my face away from Christian's soiled white linen shirt.

"I can't talk you out of this. Can I?" Christian asks, but he already knows the answer.

I shake my head.

Taylor walks back in. "Mr. Grey, the doctor is downstairs and on his way up. And, the hotel staff is on their way up to switch rooms for us."

"Thanks, Taylor."

"I'll be on my way." Sasha says to us and starts to leave.

"Hold on. We need the doctor to look at you too." Christian says to her.

"I'm sure I'm fine." Sasha says, waving her hand.

"I'm your boss, Sasha. I say you need to stay and let the doctor check you out." Christian says firmly.

Sasha gives me a surprised look, as if saying, "Man, he is bossy!". She stops in her tracks and walks over to the bed and sits down.

"Yes, he's always like this." I tell her as I sit next to her.

Sasha laughs. I laugh. My inner goddess is rolling with laughter. Christian smiles. Even Taylor has a glimpse of a smile on his face for a few seconds.

End of this chapter.

Yes, I know this was a short chapter. I felt like I had to wrap up that last cliffhanger. I'm going to work on Fifty Shades Forgotten now (my other story on here). In this story, I think I'm going to deal with Leila next. I didn't like the original book's account of how Ana handled that scene where Leila held a gun on her. I mean, Geesh. Ana just accepted that Christian gave her a bath. If my boyfriend ever did that, he'd be missing body parts. His favorite body part, I believe. Please review and let me know how you like it and what else you'd like to see redone from the original Fifty Shades with a stronger (yes-more stubborn) Ana. I guess I need to keep Adrianna in here, and develop Sasha more now that she's helped save Ana.

I've had a lot of questions about why it takes so long between posting chapters. I don't have them all written, and just wait days/weeks between posting. I'm writing these stories as I go. As soon as I have another chapter, I'll post it. I promise. But thanks for liking the story, and actually wanting more. That feels pretty good when you're trying to write a story.

As always, thanks for reading and reviewing. I like reading the reviews, even if they're not exactly glowing. Yes, I know THIS Ana is stubborn. The whole reason I wrote this story was because I thought the REAL Ana was too much of a pushover. But thanks for the constructive criticism. It is very much appreciated. Writing is so subjective, and everyone has an opinion. Please let me know yours.

I'm having fun doing this fan fiction stuff. If you'd like to read any of my published books, they're on Amazon now. I've very excited that they're doing well. Thanks to everyone who has bought one.


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